is an intense
that happens when you feel extremely upset
or pissed off about
something to the point that you either scream loudly
or have a
. Managing Anger
Sometimes the best reaction is having no reaction at all
can sometimes make things worse, and they can also be
misinterpreted and used against you. So knowing how to react and
can make all the difference. Delaying a reaction
you the time needed to think before you speak or act, this way you can
avoid saying something stupid
or doing something stupid
"Anger is one letter short of danger."
"He who angers you, conquers you."
When someone is being disrespectful and abusive, you have two choices,
you either ignore them so that you don't feed their ignorance, or you
intervene and try to mitigate the damage that they're causing, especially
when there is other people who are being victimized by the abuse. You have a
. You can be
instead of showing your
anger, because there's going to be times when the place that you're in, is
place to show your anger
. Anger is something that you can
. You can laugh at a joke
or get upset at a joke, but neither
reaction explains very little about how you
Anger is not a right, or is anger a measurement of
. Anger can only be
when it is absolutely necessary at a particular moment in time.
Dealing with a problem is determined by your knowledge and experiences.
angry can do more harm than good. Figuring out how to
solve a particular
is a lot better than just yelling at a problem
. How you
something may not always be
. And how you react
to something may not always be the best and the most effective
and look before
Anger is sometimes a result of missing information.
When you don't have information and knowledge to understand a situation,
you may get frustrated
or lash out
. This is one of the reasons
why children cry and have temper tantrums. Once a person becomes more
educated and more experienced, they gain more self
It's not easy navigating the
that exist in
peoples head. With some minds you have to be very carful where you step,
because any kind of pressure can set them off. Some people can be very
sensitive to any information that
beliefs.Get Angry about
, don't get angry about stupid things, because then anger
will will be seen as ignorance
The more we know about each other the less we fear - “Howard’s
is about not letting
your emotions like anger control you. Tolerance is about
and avoiding destroying an
opportunity to communicate
, or destroying an opportunity to learn something valuable.
Focus your energy on communication skills instead of wasting your energy
on emotions. Tolerance is not being
, it's being aware
and intelligent. Attention
CrimesWe are more susceptible to anger
when we are
and even hot
. Knowing and
understanding these factors is the first step to controlling these
influences. People get cranky, grouchy, grumpy and
you must understand why this happens in order to protect yourself.
Two Sides to a Coin
Mad - Upset
is when someone has an emotional
reaction to something that was either
externally or internally
to the point of feeling anger and sometimes causing uncontrolled emotions
or foolish behavior
that could possibly lead to insanity
is when you're feeling
or feeling anxious
, trouble or
and thrown into a state of disarray or
where you lose your
or mental state.
is when someone is showing extreme
anger or violent anger
BlamingBlowing Hot Air
usually means that
someone is screaming
in a heated
or angry tone
is to express strong emotions or
relieve aggravation or get something off your
. To vent bottled up emotions by griping, moaning, bitching or
blowing off some steam
when really angry or
stressed. Let off some steam
that has been
building up. Venting can also mean to provide with an outlet for air, gas,
. The act of making a
is when you become angry,
anxious or even depressed because of hunger. Being hungry actually causes
drop. The drop in Serotonin causes
such as anxiety, stress, anger and sadness. Adults may feel anger when
hungry when their blood sugar dips
low for normal function, especially when hungry people were under stress.Animosity
or a feeling of strong
or ill will towards
is the state or
feeling of being actively opposed or hostile to someone or something.
is a feeling of ill will arousing
active Hostility. Hatred
resistance. Arousing animosity
hostility. Incapable of harmonious association.
is a person who
in order to
, harm them or kill them,
without logic, purpose or reason. Animal predators are animals that attack
other animals, either to eat them, kill them, to protect their offspring,
or to reduce competition
is a feud in
which members of the opposing parties
each other. Revenge
bitter quarrel between two people or group of people.
is to have a
something. An angry dispute.
is a violent
between two opposing groups
having different claims
something. Not agreeing. Don't understand something the same way. See things differently.
is a common emotional
to opposition. Related to anger, annoyance and
disappointment, frustration arises from the perceived resistance to the
fulfillment of an individual's will or goal and is likely to increase when
a will or goal is denied or blocked. There are two types of frustration;
internal and external. Internal frustration may arise from challenges in
fulfilling personal goals, desires, instinctual drives and needs, or
dealing with perceived deficiencies, such as a lack of
of social situations. Conflict, such as when one has competing goals that
interfere with one another, can also be an internal source of frustration
and can create cognitive
. External causes of frustration involve conditions outside
of an individual's control, such as a physical roadblock, a difficult
task, or the perception of wasting time. There are multiple ways
individuals cope with frustration such as
behavior, anger, or violence. This makes it
difficult to identify the original cause(s) of their frustration, as the
responses are indirect. However, a more direct and common response is a
propensity towards aggression
is to harass persistently in
cruel or annoying way. Deprive of courage or hope; take away hope from;
cause to feel discouraged. Disappointingly unsuccessful. To hinder or
prevent the efforts, plans, or desires of someone.
is an emotional response of revulsion to something considered offensive,
distasteful, or unpleasant. Resentment
is a feeling of deep and
bitter anger and ill-will.
is to feel bitter or indignant
about. Angered at something unjust or wrong. Wish ill or allow
feeling of being displeased and
is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the
expectations or hopes to manifest. Similar to
differs in that a person feeling regret focuses primarily on the personal
choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while a person feeling
disappointment focuses on the outcome itself. It is a source of
. The study of
disappointment—its causes, impact, and the degree to which individual
decisions are motivated by a desire to avoid it—is a focus in the field of
decision analysis, as disappointment is, along with regret, one of two
primary emotions involved in decision-making.
is try to prevent something or
show opposition to something. Deprive of courage or hope or to take away
hope from someone. Made less hopeful or enthusiastic. To cause to feel
discouraged. Admonish or counsel in terms of someone's behavior.
is to express disapproval or warn
strongly; To put on guard.Sulking
is to be silent,
, and bad-tempered out
of annoyance or disappointment. Be in a huff and display one's
There is no
being an as*hole. If you Blame
others for your f*ckup
that's your fault. This is not to say we over react
sometimes and make
when you keep making the same
mistakes over and over, without making any attempts to
person or persons, then you have a very serious problem. This goes beyond
is a psychological distortion
that needs to be
Don't go away mad, just go away
is a state
of abnormally elevated arousal, affect, and energy level, or "a state of
heightened overall activation with enhanced affective expression together
with lability of affect as the mania intensifies, irritability may become
more pronounced and eventuate in violence
is a defense mechanism leading to the temporary or long-term reversion of
the ego to an earlier stage of development rather than handling
unacceptable impulses in a more [adaptive] way. The defense mechanism of
regression, in psychoanalytic theory, occurs when an individual's
personality reverts to an earlier stage of development, adopting more
is a psychological construct
, it is a mental and emotional entity that
inheres in, or characterizes a person. They are complex and an acquired
state through experiences. It is an individual's predisposed state of mind
regarding a value and it is precipitated through a responsive expression
toward a person, place, thing, or event (the attitude object) which in
turn influences individual's thought and action. Reaction
is an emotional state of intense discomfort
with oneself, experienced when having a socially unacceptable act or
condition witnessed by or revealed to others. Usually some amount of loss
of honor or dignity is involved, but how much and the type depends on the
embarrassing situation. It is similar to shame, except that shame may be
experienced for an act known only to oneself. Also, embarrassment usually
carries the connotation of being caused by an act that is merely socially
unacceptable, rather than morally wrong.
don't heal what hurts you, you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you".
"We all experience anger; anger only becomes a serious concern when an individual is angry too frequently, too
intensely, and for too long." — Raymond W. Novaco, 1984.
Provocation - Incite - Instigate - Agitate
is to incite or provoke
of people, especially
is to provoke or stir up anger or
is to annoy
chronically in order to influence emotions
, feelings, and
is action or speech
deliberately makes someone annoyed or angry. Action or speech held to be
likely to prompt physical retaliation
. Testing to elicit a
particular response or reflex. unfriendly behavior that causes anger or
resentment. Something that incites and causes action.
that promotes ignorant
is to provoke or stir up and
serve as the inciting cause of something. To initiate or incite someone to
do something, especially something bad.
Giving a Voice to
is to physically disturb
someone or start trouble
that is emotional and usually deep.
is to provoke someone to do
something through false or
Pushing Someone's Button
means to do
something or say something
that causes someone to have a very strong
emotional reaction of anger, irritation or annoyance. Pushing someone's
button can be done intentionally
person is aware of something that another person does not like, and then
uses that information to provoke a reaction.
is to try to stir up public opinion.
Hit a Nerve
is to provoke a reaction by
referring to a sensitive topic.Infuriate
is to make someone extremely angry and impatient.
is showing extreme anger or marked
by extreme and violent energy.
Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress
common law tort
allows individuals to recover for severe emotional distress caused by
another individual who intentionally or
distress by behaving in a way that was "extreme and outrageous". (IIED is
sometimes called the tort of outrage).
Pushed to a Breaking Point
means that a
person can no longer accept or deal with a situation because of too much
pressure or stress. Having many problems or difficulties that someone can
no longer cope with, and may soon collapse or be unable to continue.
Keeping it Together
is to cause annoyance
disturb someone, especially by minor irritations.
is an unpleasant mental state that is
characterized by such effects as irritation and
conscious thinking. It can lead to emotions such as frustration and anger.
The property of being easily annoyed is called
, which is an excitation response to
is something causing
irritation or annoyance.
- Over Reacting
is an increase in the
intensity or the seriousness of something. An intensification of actions
that makes something stronger or more extreme with a high level of
magnitude or degree.
is the process by which conflicts grow in severity over
. This may refer to
between individuals or groups in
, or it may
refer to the escalation of hostilities in a political or military context.
In systems theory, the process of conflict escalation is modeled by
Someone Gets Under Your Skin
is when you allow someone to
in you or allow someone to annoy you.
is feeling mental discomfort
or experiencing physical discomfort.
is when things feel so tight they
might snap. Tension occurs when something is stretched either physically
or emotionally. A feeling of nervousness before an important or difficult
event. A feeling of fear or anger between two groups of people who do not
trust each other. Strained relations between people can cause tensions to
rise. The noun tension has its Latin roots in tendere, which means to
Rage - Out of Control Anger
is a feeling of intense, violent, or growing anger
that is often activated in
to being in the presence of a
or perceiving a
. The phrase "thrown into a
fit of rage
" expresses the immediate nature of rage that occurs from
extended exposure to a threat
, or sometimes from experiencing an
that is not real. If this type of uncontrollable anger is left unchecked,
this rage may lead to
is to hit or kick at someone or
is aggressive or angry behavior by a driver of a road vehicle, which includes rude gestures,
, physical threats
or dangerous driving methods targeted toward
another driver in an effort to intimidate or release frustration. Road
rage can lead to altercations, assaults and collisions that result in
serious physical injuries or even death. It can be thought of as an
extreme case of aggressive driving.
is defined by the National Highway
Traffic Safety Administration as the behavior of an individual who commits
a combination of moving traffic offences so as to endanger other persons
refers to acts of verbal or gestural anger or
between cyclists and other users of bike paths or
roadways, including pedestrians, other cyclists, motorcyclists, or
drivers. Bike rage can consist of shouting at other road users, making
obscene gestures or threats, hitting or punching, or in rare cases, even
more violent acts. The term can refer either to acts committed by cyclists
or by drivers. Bike rage is related to other explosive outbursts of anger
such as road rage.
Wrapper Struggle Rage
is the common name for heightened
levels of anger and frustration resulting from the inability to open
packaging, particularly some heat-sealed plastic blister packs and
clamshells. People can potentially be injured from attempts at opening
difficult packages: use of cutting tools can pose a risk of damage to the
contents of the package. Easy-opening systems are available to improve
package opening convenience.
is the general term for disruptive or violent
behavior perpetrated by passengers and crew of aircraft, typically during
flight. Air rage has been defined as "aberrant, abnormal, or violent
behavior exhibited during the air travel process".
is increased anger when taking Anabolic
Addiction Side Effects
is when you're easily angered and frequently lose your temper.
is a sudden outburst of anger. A
disposition to exhibit uncontrolled anger.
"I don't have a quick temper, I just have a quick reaction to
Intermittent Explosive Disorder
is a behavioral disorder characterized
by explosive outbursts
of anger and
, often to the point of rage,
that are disproportionate to the situation at hand (e.g., impulsive
screaming triggered by relatively inconsequential events).
is unpremeditated, and is defined by a disproportionate
reaction to any provocation, real or perceived. Some individuals have
reported affective changes prior to an outburst (e.g., tension, mood
changes, energy changes, etc.)
is a reaction to narcissistic
injury, which is a
perceived threat to a narcissist's self-esteem
strategy in which a state commits itself to retaliate in much greater
force in the event of an attack.
is a human who is perceived to be either uncivilized or primitive. In
idiomatic or figurative usage, a "barbarian" may also be an individual
reference to a brutal, cruel, warlike, insensitive person.
is physical or verbal abuse
towards a computer
or computer-related accessory due to heightened anger or frustration.
Examples of computer rage include cursing or yelling at a computer,
slamming or throwing keyboards and mice, and assaulting the computer or
monitor with an object or weapon.
is an emotional outburst, usually associated with children
or those in
emotional distress, that is typically characterized by
crying, screaming, defiance
, anger ranting, a resistance to attempts at
pacification and, in some cases, hitting. Physical control may be lost;
the person may be unable to remain still
; and even if the "goal" of the
person is met, he or she may not be calmed. A tantrum may be expressed in
a tirade: a protracted, angry, or violent speech
is the performance of an action considered to be
An action performed that is destructive to self or to others, and may
inhibit the development of more constructive responses to the feelings in
question. In the psychological of
acting out means to perform an action in
contrast to bearing and managing the impulse to perform it. The acting
done is usually anti-social
and may take the form of acting on the
impulses of an addiction
unconsciously or semi-consciously, and sometimes as a means to
by behaving promiscuously or risky, or by throwing a
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
is a type of behavior disorder.
Having frequent temper tantrums. Arguing a lot with adults. Refusing to do
what an adult asks. Always questioning rules and
refusing to follow rules
Doing things to annoy or upset others, including adults.
for the child’s own misbehaviors or mistakes. Being easily annoyed by
others. Often having an angry attitude.
or being vindictive.
is a child with
disruptive moods that can be completely unpredictable.
is something hard to control or
deal with. Something not easily governed, managed, or directed.
is someone resisting authority
or control; not obedient or compliant; Having an obstinately uncooperative
attitude toward authority or discipline.
is a pattern of angry/irritable mood,
argumentative/defiant behavior, or vindictiveness lasting at least six
months". Unlike children with conduct disorder (CD), children with
oppositional defiant disorder are not aggressive towards people or
animals, do not destroy property, and do not show a pattern of theft or
deceit. A diagnosis of ODD is also no longer applicable if the individual
is diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder (RAD).
is cognition, thinking, talking or acting
without inclusion of rationality
. It is more specifically described as an
action or opinion given through inadequate use of reason, or through
emotional distress or cognitive deficiency
. The term is used, usually
pejoratively, to describe thinking and actions that are, or appear to be,
less useful, or more illogical than other more rational alternatives.
Irrational behaviors of individuals include taking offense or becoming
angry about a situation that has not yet occurred, expressing emotions
exaggeratedly (such as crying hysterically), maintaining unrealistic
expectations, engaging in irresponsible conduct such as problem
intoxication, disorganization, or extravagance, and falling victim to
confidence tricks. People with a mental illness like schizophrenia may
exhibit irrational paranoia
"When we treat people like children, they usually act like children."
refers to an emotional response that
is poorly modulated, and does not fall within the conventionally accepted
range of emotive response. ED may be referred to as labile mood (marked
fluctuation of mood) or mood swings.
is a mood state characterized by persistent
and pervasive elevated (euphoric) with or without irritable
mood but generally less severe than full mania.
is a mental disorder
that causes periods of depression
periods of elevated mood
. The elevated mood is significant
and is known as mania
or hypomania, depending on its severity, or whether
symptoms of psychosis are present. During mania, an individual behaves or
feels abnormally energetic
, happy, or irritable. Individuals often
poorly thought out decisions
with little regard to the consequences. The
need for sleep is usually reduced during manic phases. During periods of
depression, there may be crying, a
negative outlook on life
, and poor eye
contact with others. The risk of suicide among those with the illness is
high at greater than 6 percent over 20 years, while self-harm occurs in
30–40 percent. Other mental health issues such as anxiety disorders and
substance use disorder are commonly associated.
Reactions - Responses
that reveals a person's feelings or
something in opposition to another way of doing it that you
Show a response or a reaction to something. Act against or in
opposition to. An idea evoked by some experience.
A bodily process occurring due to the effect of some antecedent
stimulus or agent.
.Knee Jerk Reaction
is when you automatically respond
to something without thinking
describes what happens when humans vary their actions according to
and how it will affect other people; when a potential reaction is
not desirable, the action is modified accordingly
. Action can mean either
a basic action (one that has a meaning) or an advanced
which not only has a meaning but is directed at other actors and causes
action (or, perhaps, inaction).
This is not to say that people are not going
to catch you at a bad time, or catch you off guard. Anyone can be
vulnerable to reactions they regret, especially when they are not
themselves or not in a good mood.It's not
how you reacted at first, it's what you do next
. Getting mad at
something or someone, happens, this is because humans have emotions. And
when things happen expectantly or without notice, we can easily over
react. But the most important thing that you do, is what you do next. Your
first reaction is over, now what? You need to communicate and learn about
the cause of the reaction, the external causes and internal causes. And
this is why Intelligent Machines or AI can benefit humans. Machines don't
, so machines don't over react.
AI simply processes the information that it is programed to process, and
then communicates the information based on the rules of the program and
how much knowledge and information is
at that time. The machines awareness can be as big or wide as it needs to
be. If you don't have an AI Machine, then you will have to use
the intelligent machine between your ears
is to be against; express
opposition to. Fight against or resist strongly. Set into opposition or
is a statement either
spoken or written
that is made to
or request or criticism or accusation.
is an excessive
inappropriate emotional display
is a representation of something in an
unrestrained expression of emotion
A sudden violent disturbance
is an activity that is a
intrusion, or interruption. (psychiatry) a psychological
disorder of thought or emotion; a more neutral term than mental
illness or disease of the mind. Denial
Patience and Tolerance without Acceptance
Don't over react because someone else over reacts. If you over react
to someone else's overreaction, then things could easily
escalate out of
. Defending yourself is a lot more effective when you are not
overreacting. Awareness and control, followed by positive actions.
There's No Need to be Mean or Disrespectful
. Impossible to bring into friendly accord. A
and very unfriendly
Not disposed to friendship or friendliness.
Characterized by enmity or
with screaming and yelling is disturbing
behavior that needs to be minimized before harm and damage
becomes too severe and impossible to manage. If a person cannot
learn to control their emotions
, then most likely,
is needed. Always
jumping to conclusions
fully understanding where you are headed is dangerous. You have
to learn to put yourself into other people's shoes.
is showing malicious ill will
and a desire to hurt;
Feeling a need
to see others suffer
. Hurt the feelings of.
is believing the worst of
and motives; Having a sneering disbelief in the selflessness of
The Negative and Bitter Attributes of
is a feeling of deep and
and ill-will marked by strong resentment or cynicism. Very
difficult to accept or bear.
Bitterness, Resentment or Deep Pain resulting from horrible
times in your past, will always resurface later on in life. Please take the necessary steps to overcome these feelings, and
move on. There's no need to be Susceptible or Vulnerable. You have learn to let it go and never forget that you are in
control. Command Yourself. Your
will listen to you,
is having a preoccupation, fixation, or
psychological block that is complex and a source of annoying difficulty or
is a feeling or expressing bitterness or indignation at having been
treated unfairly. Angered at something unjust or wrong.
A feeling of provoked anger. Strike with disgust or revulsion.
Cause aversion in; offend the moral sense of.
is the foundation of
. It is not one of the six basic
of surprise, disgust, happiness,
sadness, anger, and fear. Resentment is a mixture of disappointment,
anger, and fear
. It comprises the three basic
emotions of disgust, sadness and surprise—the
of injustice. As the
surprise of injustice
less frequent, so too fades anger and fear, leaving disappointment as the
predominant emotion. So, to the extent perceived disgust and sadness
remain, the level of disappointment also remains.
Why don't people just say what
they mean instead of just screaming how they feel
is only effective when its sincere and honest. if you are using
too much emotion to communicate eventually people will be less
responsive and will
always find it hard to know if you are sincere and honest.
Faking emotions can be dangerous to yourself and others. This is not the same as
Don't Cry Wolf
is defined as "to give a false alarm", so
much so, that you create
that proceeds at a rate that depends linearly on only one reactant concentration.
I wasted a lot of
time being angry at things that I didn't understand
. I was
to situations instead of learning about what
those situations meant. I was acting more like a four year old
than an adult. And that is when I realized that I had no
idea what being an adult was. I also realized that no one else
knew what being an adult was. So this is another course in the BK101 education curriculum that must be designed. I see people
being aggravated, but why do people
others for their
aggravation? They themselves are the cause of the aggravation.
If something is wrong or not right then learn how to correct it.
Being mad at a problem does not
solve the problem
, it only
the problem worse
is a pattern of indirect resistance
demands or requests of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation.
Pretending not to understand
is a typical passive-aggressive strategy.
Such behavior is often protested by associates, evoking frustration or
anger, and labelled "catty", "manipulative", or "acting/going dumb".
Passive-aggressive behavior may be subconsciously or consciously used to
evoke these emotions and reactions in others. It may also be used as an
alternative to verbalizing or acting out
anger. It is an act if it is occasional and does not substantially
interfere with social or occupational function, or relationships; it is a
behavior if it used more persistently; it is a personality disorder if
there is a pervasive pattern of such behavior which does interfere in
Passive Aggressive Behavior
can also be an indirect expression of
hostility, such as through procrastination,
sullen behavior, or deliberate or repeated failure to accomplish
requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible,
like some politicians
do. Negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for
adequate performance in social and occupational situations. Characterized by a habitual pattern of
expected work requirements, opposition, sullenness,
stubbornness, and negative attitudes in response to requirements
for normal performance levels expected of others willful
incompetence. Either you're a lazy piece of sh*t who doesn't
care about life or other people, or you have
. Passive Aggressive Behavior is not to be
confused with refusing unreasonable requests, or
is a refusal to communicate verbally with someone who
desires the communication. It may range from just sulking to
abusive controlling behavior
. It may be a passive-aggressive
form of emotional abuse
displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal
gestures while maintaining verbal silence. Clinical psychologist Harriet
Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative punishment.
Don't let the criminals and the
as*holes attack you twice
. Scumbags may attack your
physical self, but don't let them attack you from the inside.
Don't let a bad experience linger and cause you to replay the
bullshit over and over. Learn from it and move on. And one way
of doing that is learning Self Control
which is a skill that covers many different subjects and several
areas of knowledge. Learn this skill, it is extremely powerful.
It's the gift that keeps on giving, and it will benefit you your
entire life. There are as*holes in the world
that we have to
deal with from time to time. Treat them like the children they
are and learn from that moment and educate others about that
moment in the best way possible, and then move on. Don't let the
as*holes linger like radio active fallout from a nuclear bomb.
Learning how to not let horrible experiences ruin your life is
like having the ultimate protection, an impenetrable
you from all the as*holes in the world.
may not be a sign of weakness
, but it maybe a sign or an
indicator of injustice
So when I see people get mad, I don't jump to conclusions, I
investigate and learn, because the person might be wrong, but
they could also be right.
we can use our energy to evoke anger, then we can also use our energy to
. We should use our energy to be
productive instead of wasting our energy to be destructive. We know that
anger and violence is not necessary to communicate with humans, or any
other animal or life form. Physical and mental Punishment in the form of
Discipline is only used by ignorant people who have very little knowledge
about language and the transferring information. If we don't make
knowledge and information more available through the media and through
education, our own ignorance will continue to kill and destroy everything
in its path. Stop these wars, stop the madness, educate, educate,
"Give me the ability to understand the
things I cannot change
, but more importantly, give me the
abilities, skills and knowledge to change the things that need
to be changed."
Anger Management - Controlling Anger
how not to
get angry using methods
also be a psycho-therapeutic
, described as defusing anger
successfully. Anger is frequently a result of frustration or
, or feeling
blocked or thwarted from something we feel to be
. Anger can also
be a defensive response
to underlying fear or feelings of
powerlessness. Anger can also come from
. Anger management programs consider anger to be a motivation
caused by an identifiable reason which can be
, and if
suitable worked toward.
Instead of reacting
and attacking with anger, react with
understanding. Learning to understand is a lot more effective, a
lot more efficient, and a lot more beneficial on the mind, the
body, and the world. It's a Win Win for everyone, and everything.
is to reduce the danger or
tension in a difficult situation. Let the air clear. Let someone
cool off. Let someone calm down. Give someone time to think, but make sure
that their anger is not going to get worse.
Defuse a Situation With a Difficult Customer
Things don't create anger
, people create anger because of their
reaction to things
. And reactions are based on a persons
their knowledge, and their experiences. This is why people can
react to the same thing differently than one another.
, which isolates people. We need to learn how to
communicate more effectively
, so that we can be more
understanding of one another, instead of being misunderstood and
creating barriers that impedes our ability to communicate and
sympathize with each other. We are an intelligent species, but we
have to learn how to be intelligent
in order to be intelligent.
We can control our behaviors most of the time
but behaviors can also happen automatically, which is good because you
wouldn't want to have to tell yourself to be happy. Happiness should just
happen naturally without you telling yourself to feel happy, or to act
happy. And you don't want to have tell yourself to feel sad or to act sad.
You want control, but you have to understand what you are controlling and
why. And you still want automatic behaviors because automatic behaviors
are more efficient than manually activated behaviors, though automatic
functions still need to have awareness because automatic features carry
their own risk. You don't want to feel the pain or feel emotional distress
because someone is being abusive to you. It's better to be in control of
yourself instead of letting others control you. Your intelligence is your
power. But you have to learn how to effectively use intelligence in order
to maximize the power of knowledge. There is a lot of untapped energy in
the human body and in our environment that needs to be fully utilized, or
it's just wasted potential. We could have a constant flow of energy if we
would just stop wasting it and abusing it.
You can't blame other people for your
, people don't control you. No one is asking to act a certain
way and no one is asking you to behave or respond in a particular way. Yes
there are times that people can make it very difficult for you to control
your own behavior. But you are either in control or you are out of
control. And if you act like an idiot, that's your fault. Be
violence begets violence
, and anger begets anger, the key is
not to harbor any anger or
because it is a poison to the mind and the body.
increase violence and crimes
You can't get angry with people just because they don't
understand the same things that you do
. The feeling of anger
should only be used as an indicator that says "questions need to
be answered". The emotion of anger is not necessary, and many
times anger is counterproductive. Anger is you being frustrated
with yourself, because you still haven't learned how to
communicate effectively, with yourself, or with others. I still
get angry and disturbed by other peoples ignorant behavior,
I just get angry a lot less now
. I'm more systematic in my approach
when I see problems. Instead of wasting time having an emotional reaction
to problems, I spend more time acting on
solving the problem
of just reacting to the problem. Things still piss me off sometimes, but
now I'm a lot more calm in my approach. You can't solve problems just by
being mad at problems. And if you never learn how to understand why you
are mad, then you will always be mad
ways than one. You have to cross over that line from where you
pretend to know
to where you actually know. You have to know something for sure if you are
ever going to find a cure.
There is nothing shameful about getting angry
, as long as you
don't get angry all the time at everything. Controlling anger
takes time. The more you are aware of yourself, the more you can
control yourself. And don't think that anger is something that
you could fully remove from your behavior, anger is there for a
reason as part of a defense mechanism. But if anger is over
used, it does more harm then good. Problem solving doesn't need
anger, in fact anger inhibits problem solving and communication.
Anger is only useful when you absolutely need to use it to
express urgency, and hopefully that is very seldom, otherwise
anger does more harm then good. When transferring knowledge or
information, we should use the most effective and efficient mode
of transfer, otherwise we communicate and express emotion and feelings for nothing.
Marcus Aurelius - (121 – 180 AD)
"Someone despises me. That’s their problem.
Mine: not to do or say anything despicable. Someone hates me. Their
problem. Mine: to be patient and cheerful with everyone, including them.
Ready to show them their mistake. Not spitefully, or to show off my own
self-control, but in an honest, upright way. If any man despises me, that
is his problem. My only concern is not doing or saying anything deserving
of contempt. What if someone despises me? Let them see to it. But I will
see to it that I won’t be found doing or saying anything contemptible.
What if someone hates me? Let them see to that. But I will see to it that
I’m kind and good-natured to all, and prepared to show even the hater
where they went wrong. Not in a critical way, or to show off my patience,
but genuinely and usefully." —Marcus
, 11.13 -
The Evil That Men Do Harms You Only if You
Do Evil in Response
When people injure you, ask yourself what good
or harm they thought would come of it. If you understand that, you’ll feel
sympathy rather than outrage or anger. Your sense of good and evil may be
the same as theirs, or near it, in which case you have to excuse them. Or
your sense of good and evil may differ from theirs. In which case they’re
misguided and deserve your compassion. Is that so hard? That kindness is
invincible, provided it’s sincere—not ironic or an act. What can even the
most vicious person do if you keep treating him with kindness and gently
set him straight—if you get the chance—correcting him cheerfully at the
exact moment that he’s trying to do you harm. “No, no, my friend. That
isn’t what we’re here for. It isn’t me who’s harmed by that. It’s you.”
And show him, gently and without pointing fingers, that it’s so. That bees
don’t behave like this— or any other animals with a sense of community.
Don’t do it sardonically or meanly, but affectionately—with no hatred in
your heart. And not ex cathedra or to impress third parties, but speaking
directly. Even if there are other people around. For there are two rules
we should always have at hand: That nothing is good or evil, but choice,
and, That we are not to lead events, but to follow them. “My brother ought
not to have treated me so”. Very true, but it is for him to see to that.
However he treats me, I am to act rightly with regard to him. For this is
my concern, the other is somebody else’s; this no one can hinder, the
other is open to hindrance
Marcus reminded himself to not be upset
by the misdeeds of others and to correct them if possible, but if they
were stubborn and would not change, to accept it. In reacting to such
people, we must never allow our own principles to be violated. Moreover,
we should never be surprised by the wicked deeds of others, and avoid
wishing that men are not as they are (prone to evil acts) because then we
are wishing for the impossible. He believed that people do bad things out
of ignorance of what is good and evil, and that we should forgive them for
their errors, even when they harm us. Marcus stresses that social animals
such as humans are meant to live in harmony.
He likened his
relation to bad people to them being different body parts of the same
person. Good and bad people are both part of the same universal nature and
they are meant to interact and cooperate. Marcus Aurelius—and indeed all
the Stoics—believed that we were part of an inner-connected organism. That
you couldn’t hurt one person without hurting them all. “What injures the
hive, injures the bee,” he said. “The best revenge,” he said, “is not to
be like that.” Meaning: When you hurt others, you hurt the group and you
It is against nature to despise evil people and try
to avoid them. When we find ourselves judging others, we ought to consider
our own faults first. Then we will find that we are less prone to blaming
them. Rather than judge and be disturbed by others, which sets us up for
disappointment and distress, we ought to focus on self-improvement. Marcus
“It is a ridiculous thing for a man not to fly from his own
badness, which is indeed possible, but to fly from other men’s badness,
which is impossible.”
“It’s silly to try to escape other people’s
faults. They are inescapable. Just try to escape your own.”
Marcus repeatedly explains why the
pursuit of fame
and praise is foolish and
why we especially should not care about what others think of us after we
die. He points out that so many famous men have been forgotten, that those
who would praise one posthumously will themselves soon die. He explains
that there are no immortal actions.
“Consider that as the heaps of sand piled on one
another hide the former sands, so in life the events which go before are
soon covered by those which come after.”
Fame, no matter how great,
will always fade into oblivion and pursuit of it merely demonstrates one’s
He also explains that nothing is made better by praise, the
beauty of things comes from the thing itself and not what people say about
it. To think then that we are gaining something by being praised is a
“When you’ve done well and another has benefited by it,
why like a fool do you look for a third thing on top— credit for the good
deed or a favor in return?”
Marcus and the Stoics see doing good as
the proper job of a human being. So why on earth do you need thanks or
recognition for having done the right thing? It’s your job. Why would you
need to be famous? Because you were talented? Because you were brilliant?
Because you were successful? These things are part of the job too.
“Is any man afraid of change? What can take place without change? What
then is more pleasing or more suitable to the universal nature? And canst
thou take a bath unless the wood undergoes a change? And canst thou be
nourished, unless the food undergoes a change? And can anything else that
is useful be accomplished without change?”
Let not future things
disturb you, for you will come to them, if it shall be necessary, having
with you the same reason which you now use for present things.”
we don’t let events make us worse people, we are never truly harmed by
“Whatever anyone does or says, I must be good, just as if the
gold, or the emerald, or the purple were always saying this, whatever
anyone does or says, I must be emerald and keep my color.”
formula for greatness in a human being is Amor Fati: that one wants
nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity.
Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it…but love it
Your Rational Mind is Your Greatest Asset.
Marcus knew that our
ability to reason is what sets us apart from the animals and is an
important power that we must use to the fullest. He believed (like all
Stoics) that our reason could be used to understand the universal reason
present in nature, which would lead to agreement with it even if events
seemed harmful. Our rational minds have complete power over our opinions
and the mind only experiences suffering when it itself creates a desire
for a specific outcome in life.
Marcus—who had more control over
his environment than most—was also the pen behind these lines: “You have
power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find
Marcus teaches that our mind is a thing that controls
itself completely and is separated from the world; it cannot be affected
by events unless it makes itself be affected. Every appearance is the
result of what the mind wills it to appear to be and the mind makes itself
exactly what it is. Since this is so, there is no reason we should not
agree with nature, since nature has provided us with the means to
rationally accept the course of events no matter where they take us.
“Our actions may be impeded . . . but there can be no impeding our
intentions or dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind
adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting.”
“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.”
If it is not right, do not do it, if it is not true, do not say it.”
The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our
acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way
becomes the way.”
“Your mind will take the shape of what you
frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such
“We all love ourselves more than other people, but
care more about their opinion than our own.”
Not to feel
exasperated, or defeated, or despondent because your days aren’t packed
with wise and moral actions. But to get back up when you fail, to
celebrate behaving like a human—however imperfectly—and fully embrace the
pursuit that you’ve embarked on.”
“How easy it is to repel and to
wipe away every impression which is troublesome or unsuitable, and
immediately to be in all tranquility.”
“You could leave life right
now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”
means tying your well-being to what other people say or do…Sanity means
tying it to your own actions.”
“Discard your misperceptions. Stop
being jerked like a puppet. Limit yourself to the present.”
Patience - Tolerance
is showing respect
of others, or
having the willingness
and respect the
others. To be tolerant
under a perceived
Having a disposition
and behavior. A
difference that allows some
to move within
The ability to put up with something or somebody
allow the presence
of something or allow an activity without opposing it or
Learning to adapt
yourself or something else in order to
Being able to tolerate
unfavorable environmental conditions
. Showing the capacity for
when faced with
. The state of
without acting on annoyance or anger
in a negative way. To exhibit forbearance when under strain, especially when
faced with longer-term difficulties
. Patience is the level of
one can take before negativity. It is also used to
refer to the character trait of being steadfast. Enduring trying
circumstances with even temper or characterized by such
tolerance of delay or
Antonyms of patience
includes hastiness and
is showing patient and unruffled
and restraint under
. Thinking first before you retaliate or express resentment.
is having firm determination
or resolution. Being firm and not shakable.
instruction to do something.
You need to learn how to accept someone and understand
someone without enabling
them or encouraging them by being
Patience, but don't
- Moral Consciousness
How can a person be aware of the benefits of having patience and tolerance
if they never learned the
and logic behind it?
Patience and tolerance gives you more control and more
, and not to sit idly, but to use the power of patience
and tolerance to explore and find ways to improve life in any
You don't want to encourage a
that might be
unbeneficial, you want to carefully find a way to improve a
particular behavior, and at the same time understand this
behavior more accurately. When it comes to conflicts, others
may become over whelmed with fear and doubt and become
incapacitated and be unable to act effectively, and others will
But if you understand
the power of patience and tolerance
you will be methodically working towards
solutions, and at the same time be an
along the way. That's the power of patience and tolerance, but
it's only the beginning. There are many other elements that go
just having patience and
tolerance, and when you learn all the other
knowledge and information
that is involved, you will begin
to understand the power of knowledge. You will no longer be
distracted, or discouraged, or manipulated like you were before.
It is one of the most grandest liberations you will ever
experience. You have the Power.
is a defensive process or
in which emotions and impulses which are anxiety-producing or
perceived to be unacceptable are mastered by exaggeration (hypertrophy) of
the directly opposing tendency. The reaction formations belong to Level
III of neurotic defense mechanisms,[clarification needed] which also
include intellectualization, dissociation, displacement and repression.
is providing psychological
relief through the open expression of strong emotions; causing catharsis.
Cathartic can also mean a purgative drug or a substance that accelerates
is the purification and purgation of emotions—particularly
pity and fear—through art or any extreme change in emotion that results in
renewal and restoration and cleansing.
doesn't work either.
in some particular way, without permanently
losing one's or its former characteristics or essence.
An event that occurs when something passes from one state or
phase to another. Give to, and receive from, one another.
is to make fit for, or
change to suit a new purpose
. Adjust oneself to new or different conditions.
Alter or regulate so as to achieve accuracy or conform to a
"Every bad moment or mistake that is
fraught with anger or punishment is another lost opportunity to
learn something valuable."
"Never look down on someone
trying to help them up." Jesse Jackson
from your experiences will help you to be more
aware of your options and your choices so that you can take the
, instead of inappropriately
situation. Act, not react. Respond to a situation rather than
just reacting to it. Don't allow outside influences to
, or distract you from the
surrounds a particular situation.
Sadly, there are some people who actually like
only because they have not yet realized how
it is, and they also haven't learned
. Be careful not to get fooled into playing other
peoples games, especially games of conflict.
This is another course of study we will have to
add to our education, we'll call it "Good Ways to Avoid
This goes way beyond Dominators, Influencers, Cooperators and
Detailers. You have to stand up for what is right, like when
being an Activist
But you don't want to make things worse. So
you have to learn how to
and learn how to avoid
Let It Be - The Beatles
(youtube) - Let It Be is the twelfth and final
studio album by the English rock band
that was released on 8 May 1970.
When I find myself in
times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be,
let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
And when the broken
hearted people living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be,
let it be, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be,
let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let
it be, be
And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that
shines on me
Shinin' until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the
sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let
And let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
of wisdom, let it be
And let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
No one is Born Bad
“No one is born hating another
person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his
religion. People must
learn to hate
, and if they can learn to
, they can be taught to love, for
comes more naturally to the human heart
its opposite.” Nelson Mandela
(wiki) - Love is the
"What makes you mad is not the reason you're mad, the reason you're mad is because you've gone mad."
Hate Speech (profanity).
"No one can make you angry, you can only choose to be angry, so the choice is yours."
"For every minute you are angry you
lose sixty seconds of happiness."
) - More Life Quotes
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not
due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this
you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
is a state of
prolonged public dispute
or debate, usually
concerning a matter of conflicting opinion or point of view.
Passive Aggressive Behavior
- Anger Management
is a civil rights/human relations
occurs when an acting party's right to
freedom of speech
curtailed or restricted by the government in order to prevent a reacting
- Terms of Service
is the process by which conflicts
grow in severity over time.
is lack of respect
accompanied by a
feeling of intense dislike.
is the end of a sentence
or explanation. Enough said. I no longer want to speak.
Angry Young Man -
What's the difference between
and Biting the Hand that Feeds You?
Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right
What are the differences between being irritated, offended,
, having a short temper, being
and being in an
? Is it all
? Can you have an
and still be
- Panic Attack
- Cognitive Distortion
- Negativity Bias