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Relationship is a state of connectedness between people. A state involving mutual dealings between people or parties or countries. A close connection marked by community of interests or similarity in nature or character.

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Friendships - Dating - Marriage - Family

Self Smart
People Smart
Social Intelligence
Human Sexuality

Praising - Awarding - Punishing

Interaction is a mutual or reciprocal actions, a kind of action that occurs as two or more objects have an effect upon one another. The idea of a two-way effect is essential in the concept of interaction, as opposed to a one-way causal effect. A closely related term is interconnectivity, which deals with the interactions of interactions within systems: combinations of many simple interactions can lead to surprising emergent phenomena.

Emergence is a process whereby larger entities, patterns, and regularities arise through interactions among smaller or simpler entities that themselves do not exhibit such properties.

With relationships you need to deliberately work on the relationship and purposely find better ways to Communicate. This needs time and effort. If you never take the time and effort, your relationships will never improve on their own. You both need to commit to learning, and not just learn from each other, but learning as mush as you can about human development as well as  the world around you. This takes time and effort. You need to fully understand the importance of this responsibility that we call learning. To under estimate the importance of learning, is to deny yourself of a life worth living.


The Importance of Friendships

One of the greatest benefits of a Friendship is that you get to be yourself, and also say things and do things that you normally wouldn’t do. In a way you’re clarifying who you are. And you’re not just revealing your true self to your friends, but also defining who you are to yourself. This is where a person can find acceptance, and not just acceptance with others, but acceptance with themselves. Good friendships are sanctuaries that are filled with therapeutic communication and wonderful memories. But friendships can also be incredibly devastating when a friendship falls apart. And you’re not just losing a friend, but also losing a part of yourself. Friendships offer us a type of sharing that is our connection, connecting our inner world with the outer world. Everyone needs a friend, but not all friendships are healthy. So choose your friends wisely and share your time accordingly. And remember the most important friendship in your life is the friendship that you have with yourself. Because when there is no one there to talk to, you better be a best friend to yourself, because if you’re not, you will lose the only true friend that you will ever have.

friendship symbol With having a lot of friends you can never be prepared enough for when a friendship takes a turn for the worse and your friends mistakes becomes your mistakes. And not only does a friendship go sour, but you're left picking up the pieces and forced to perform damage control in order to protect your Reputation. Don't bother playing The Blame Game, it's best that you learn what you can from the experience and apply that knowledge to future events so that you can avoid repeating your mistakes, even if those mistakes are someone else's. 

Social Networks - Dunbar's Number

Interpersonal relationship is a strong, deep, or close association or acquaintance between two or more people that may range in duration from brief to enduring. This association may be based on inference, love, solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment. Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of social, cultural and other influences. The context can vary from family or kinship relations, friendship, marriage, relations with associates, work, clubs, neighborhoods, and places of worship. They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and are the basis of social groups and society as a whole.

So what defines a 'Friend' ? What does it mean to really know someone?

A friend is someone who shares your feelings or opinions and hopes that you will be successful. A person who reduces the intensity of fears and helps to calm and pacify. A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. Having affection and a positive feeling of liking. Commitment and binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to someone. Giving Promise to someone and give grounds for expectations by agreeing to do (or not to do) something in the future. A person who is on good terms with another. A person who is not hostile. A person you know well and regard with affection and Trust. Having Closeness to someone and having personal knowledge or information about someone but not necessarily knowing everything about someone. A person who is Loyal and provides Cooperation and Assistance. A feeling of being intimate and belonging together.

Buddy System is a procedure in which two people, the "buddies", operate together as a single unit so that they are able to monitor and help each other.

Honesty and Dependability, availability, reliability, durability, safety and security.

is to give moral or emotional strength to. Affording comfort or solace.

Confidant someone who you can confide in and trust.

Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals. Treason

Songs about Friendship

BEN - Michael Jackson (youtube)
Umbrella: Rihanna When the sun shines, we'll shine together, Told you I'd be here forever, Said I'll always be a friend, Took an oath, I'ma stick it out 'til the end. Come here to me, under my umbrella.
Highasakite - Since Last Wednesday (youtube)
We're Going To Be Friends- The White Stripes (youtube)
You're My Best Friend - Queen (youtube)
I'll Be There - The Jackson 5 (youtube)
Lean On Me - Bill Withers (youtube)
In My Life - The Beatles (youtube)
You've Got A Friend In Me - Randy Newman (youtube)
With A Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles (youtube)
I’ll Be There For You - The Rembrandts (youtube)
Count On Me - Bruno Mars (youtube)
Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler (youtube)
Anytime You Need A Friend - Mariah Carey (youtube)
I’ll Stand By You - The Pretenders (youtube)
Graduation (Friends Forever) -Vitamin C (youtube)
Best Friend -Harry Nilsson (youtube)
Wannabe -The Spice Girls (youtube)
Thank You For Being A Friend - Andrew Gold (youtube)
Lou Reed - Perfect Day (youtube)

Love Songs
Relationship Songs

"Sometimes you choose your friends and sometimes friends choose you. But what ever the case may be, the importance of those friendships will always be surprising."


"Some friendships are created from common interests, and when those interests change, sometimes the friendship changes too."

One of the benefits of having a friend is that a friend can tell you something about yourself that you never noticed before. But sometimes the truth hurts, but if you can learn from it, and better yourself, then the criticism, or the friendly observation, will be well worth the pain. Besides, the most important revelations will always have some kind of discomfort or sadness about them.

Types of Friends

Each kind of friend has its own level of closeness and Trustworthiness.

Best Friend, Good Friend, Old Friend, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Family Friend, Work Friend, Associate, School Friend, Classmate, Buddy, Sports Friend, Religious Friend, Church Friend, Internet Friend, Childhood Friend, Neighborhood Friend, Roommate, Fellow Traveler, Kinship, Comrade, Crony, Confidant, Backer, Advocate, Ally, Confrere, Compatriot, Colleague, Acquaintance.
Social Relation is any relationship between two or more individuals.

is a close friend who accompanies his buddies in their activities.
Fan is an ardent follower and admirer; Patron, Supporter, Political Friend.
Admirer is a person who admires; someone who esteems or respects or approves.
Blood Brother is a male with the same parents as someone else, A male sworn (usually by a ceremony involving the mingling of blood) to treat another as his brother.  Family
Camaraderie is mutual trust and friendship among people who spend a lot of time together.  Brotherhood
Fellowship is an association of people who share common beliefs or activities. The state of being with someone.
Familiarity is personal knowledge or information about someone or something. Close or warm friendship.
Sociability is the relative tendency or disposition to be sociable or associate with one's fellows.
Sidekick is a close companion or colleague (not necessarily in fiction) who is, or generally regarded as, subordinate to the one he or she accompanies. Some well-known fictional sidekicks are Don Quixote's Sancho Panza, Sherlock Holmes' Doctor Watson, The Lone Ranger's Tonto, The Green Hornet's Kato, Shrek's Donkey, Sonic's Tails and Batman's Robin.

Working Together

I seem to have more Acquaintances then Friends, so what's the difference?

Acquaintance is a state of being acquainted with more than just a slight or superficial knowledge about someone.
Being Familiar with someone as a result of continued meetings, as in old companions. Mutual communication and sharing thoughts and feelings. Being comfortable with the interchange of thought, but not having 100 percent trust in that person or being totally open and honest. Friend: A person you know well and regard with affection and trust. Faith: Confidence in a person or plan.

Familiarity and intimacy mark different degrees of closeness in Social Intercourse. What you perceive may affect your Awareness.

"Sometimes people don’t notice the things others do for them until they stop doing them."

Keeping in Touch
Life can be really busy and complicated at times, so it's easy to lose sight of people and things. I want to keep in touch with people but at the same time I don't want to lose sight of what I'm doing. Life is full of changes, and sometimes friendships get misplaced during those changes. It's not the quantity of time that you get to spend with your friends, it's the quality of time that's important, which is so true and not just some lame excuse for not calling your friends.

I find it easy to make friends, but I'm not so good at maintaining friendships, why? Many reasons, but which reasons are relevant and which reasons can be easily corrected? And how many real friendships can you realistically maintain without being superficial? And this is not about counting social network friends like on Facebook, because the people with the least amount of friends on Facebook can actually be a better friend then someone who has several hundred friends on Facebook. So I wouldn't use a social network as some kind of an indicator of character. A higher amount of friends does not always equate to a higher level of trustworthiness or friendliness. So what other factors are needed in determining how trusting and how honest someone is?

If there's one thing I'm good at, it's losing touch with people. I call it Call Back Disorder. When two people don't communicate with each other, then they lose touch. But it only takes one person to call, and if you're not the one who calls, then losing touch is easy. If you want to keep in touch with me you got to be the one who maintains the friendship and calls. That's why I like my friends to be maintenance free, but that never happens. Because everyone needs maintenance, even me. But I'm improving, except for that phone thing. You would think that I would have mastered the phone by now?  "I was busy"

This is not about Relationship Ghosting, flaking or the Silent Treatment, it's just ineffective communication skills.

Why would you stop being friends just because a lot of time has passed? Even when a loved one dies I am still their friend, even knowing that I may never see them again. But if I did see them in heaven, I'm not going to say, "Hey! Why didn't you call me?"
I would rather say, "It's good to see you again."

"I have always found it easy to make new friends, but I always found it difficult to keep in touch. My mind is always wondering. There's nothing wrong with my attention span, it's just natural to keep moving. Humans are born to move, born to discover. And that's why humans are all over the planet, and that's why humans are in space. We keep moving, to learn, to know, to live. So if I don't call you, don't worry, I'm just occupied with discovering, like millions of humans have done for the last 500,000 years or so."

It's hard keep all our relationships active. I like to think that we are probably thinking pretty much the same things and living through similar situations, because we all live on the same planet. So I will catch up with you when I see you.

"Even though we may never see each other again, I know in my heart we will always be friends."

"Good Friends are like Stars, you might not always see them but you know they're always there."

"A friend is someone who appreciates your jokes, and most of the time, understands your jokes."

"What is time between friends? People change, you change, the world changes. But does that mean the friendship has to change? It only takes a little time to catch up, so if the friendship matters, then catching up will be fun."

"Anyone can be that someone, that someone that you should listen to, that person who needs you."

A lot of the friends I had were just looking for someone to do crazy stuff with, and of course I was always a willing participant, as well as an instigator, because with my imagination I was always coming up with crazy things to do. But I was extremely lucky to have some friends who had their limits, friends who knew when to say no, and friends who were more aware then I was, which was a good thing because I was stupid enough to do or try almost anything. So having friends with limits definitely helps, they help keep you out of trouble and make you a little more aware of common sense, but not always of course, sometimes stupidity finds a way.

Live and Learn (mistakes)

"I'm the kind of person who hangs around for a while then disappears. I absorb what ever information you have and then I'm off, but not with everyone. There are some people you have to stay connected too."

"As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones."

"Making a hundred friends is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a single friend who will stand by your side even when hundreds are against you."

Having friends is like having Witnesses to moments in your life.

"I feel that some friendships are not even a choice. Some people just tend to gravitate towards one another like some kind of Cosmic Attraction, which is part Curiosity, part Biological and part Symbiotic mutual agreement, none of which neither is aware of."

Rejection is a harsh word, and it's also not an accurate word to use. Everyone has different tastes and different needs, and those tastes and needs change as we get older and become more mature. So sometimes relationships are all about the timing. When you meet someone at the right time, it's easier to make a connection. But this does not mean that the connection will last, because everyone changes over time. Some changes take people in different directions, and other changes may take us in the same direction, which means that a long lasting relationship is very possible.

Time to yourself is important buts it's not always beneficial. There's a time you need to be Alone with yourself and then there are times that you need to venture out and communicate.

Personal Boundaries - I need a little Space

Being Yourself

Life Skills

Everyone should have most of these particular skills below, if not, you should at least know some people who could provide these skills for you. These are the skills that every Parent should have. That's why parenting is called a Big Responsibility.

Qualities and Skills of a Worker
How to Be a Good Host

Being there for someone is actually physically being there.
Empathy and Sympathy

It's a good idea to have good relationships with people and create strong bonds and friendships. You should know certain people, especially people who have knowledge and skills about society and survival. People who can see things more clearly then others, people who can make good decisions and people who can analyze situations more accurately then most people do. People you can trust. That is what a community should be like, an extension of your family. And this is also how a strong and vibrant society should be created. From there it's all about educating the young so they can continue to make progress, continue to make improvements, and continue to preserve the quality of life for everyone, and for future generations. So every new generation should be more educated then the previous generation. But lately this is not happening fast enough for any type of Singularitarianism to happen. Many improvements in education will be needed in order to reach our goals and to ultimately reach our full potential.

"Treat your family like friends and your friends like family."


Family relationships are usually the most complicated, they can be the most enjoyable and the most rewarding but they can also be the most Frustrating and Stressful of all relationships.

Family are people descended from a common ancestor. A social unit living together. A person having Kinship with another or others.

Family Relatives Include Brother, Sister, Mother, Father, Parent, Wife, Husband, Child, Step Child, Niece, Nephew, Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, Grandparent, Great Grandparent, In-Laws, Sibling, Step Relative, Distant Relative.

Extended Family is a family that extends beyond the nuclear family, consisting of parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, all living nearby or in the same household.

Nuclear Family is a family group consisting of a pair of a woman and a man (adults) and their children (one or more), considering a time after the pair engagement, different than Family-in-law. It is in contrast to a single-parent family, to the larger extended family, and to a family with more than two parents.

Immediate Family is a defined group of relations, used in rules or laws to determine which members of a person's family are affected by those rules. It normally includes a person's parents, spouses, siblings, children. It can contain others connected by birth, adoption, marriage, civil partnership, or cohabitation, such as grandparents, great-grandparents, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, aunts, uncles, siblings-in-law, half-siblings, cousin, adopted children and step-parents/step-children, and cohabiting partners.

Consanguinity is the property of being from the same kinship as another person. In that aspect, consanguinity is the quality of being descended from the same ancestor as another person.

Family Relationship Chart

Kin Selection
Sibling Rivalry
Birth Order


Family Therapy

Family Counseling
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Relationship Counseling
Marriage Counseling
Discernment Counseling
Senior Citizen Stories

Patience, Tolerance, Compassion and Understanding are very useful tools in every relationship.

Controlling Anger

All relationships experience difficulties from time to time. Communication and Perception are sometimes taken for granted.
These differences in Awareness makes most relationships very difficult to communicate effectively with some relationships being totally Dysfunctional. Communication is a two-way street. Listen not just with your ears but with your mind and your heart together. There is always more then just the words that people speak and always more then just the actions that people take, there is always more to Pay Attention to. There's more then meets the ear, There's more then meets the eye. Listen to the words and not so much the tone in which they are spoken. You have to learn how to separate Emotion from Perception when listening. This is not to say that you should not use emotion when speaking because some people respond better to emotion, as long as you are sure what emotion to use.

Everyone makes the mistake of always Expecting more from the other person. And usually people expect more from the other person then they are willing to give to the other person. And when we get Angry because we don't get what's expected from life or from other people, we are just destroying all forms of communication, internally and externally, and also destroying any chance of having a healthy conversation or relationship, which allows ignorance to control our moods and ignorance to ruin our lives. You have to learn how to communicate more and expect less. When we expect we reject. A question is much easier then just assuming you know the answer or outcome. You have to stop doing the same thing or saying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results or outcomes. You have learn how to look for new ways of doing things and look for new ways of understanding things. Learning to adjust and adapt is learning to survive. Making changes and improvements is natural. Instead of just overreacting to a situation, take a moment for a careful examination of the situation and then apply the best logic and wisdom that you have before you take action or open your mouth. 

Expectancy Theory proposes an individual will behave or act in a certain way because they are motivated to select a specific behavior over other behaviors due to what they expect the result of that selected behavior will be.
Words that help explain why having Expectations is a false sense of security that is also unfair and illogical ....
Opinion is a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty.
Assume is to believe something to be true without verification or proof.
Guess is an estimate based on little or no information. 
Accusation is an assertion that someone is guilty of a fault or an offence without clear evidence or proofInnocent until proven guilty.

Argument - Debate
Siri Argument (youtube) 

Seeing the same thing does not always mean feeling the same thing. Perception needs to be mutual if we plan to see eye to eye.

Forgiveness = Happiness

You have to except the fact that some people will never change. It's really hard to change someone. So sometimes it's easier for you to make the change. And it's not really a change either, it's more of an adjustment. As relationships grow something's about people change and something's stay the same, and trying to Synchronize your changes with someone else's changes is not always that easy. 

How can a person be Cruel, Abusive and Hurtful to their own family members and then be nice to strangers?
Abuse Crimes

Why do people act differently while in the presence of other people?
Interpersonal intelligence

Certain relationships are more challenging than others, but through each relationship we have an opportunity to grow and help others do the same. Every relationship teaches us something about loving, trusting, forgiving, setting boundaries, taking care of
ourselves, and taking care of each other. Use the lessons that people teach you through your interactions, like patience, compassion, or courage. Share the beauty that is you with the people around you.

24 million children in America, one out of every three, live in biological father-absent homes.
Consequences of Fatherlessness
Fatherless Statistics


The typical American lives only 18 miles from their Mom

Children Living with One Parent Mother

True unselfishness is when you do something for someone else who hardly ever does the same thing for you, whether or not they unintentionally or intentionally did not return your kindness. Generosity is like an investment in Love, except that you never have to wait for a return from your investment in love, because you could never be short on love especially when you have the ability to create love anywhere you are. 

Love Yourself

The Truth does not have to Hurt. You can still speak the truth without offending someone or making a situation more complicated then it needs to be. Honesty needs the right words at the right time. Sincerity has Responsibilities that you need to be aware of.

Trust is have confidence or faith in. Certainty based on past experience. The trait of believing in the honesty and reliability of others. Inclined to believe or confide readily. Trust - Loyalty - Faith

Trust is having faith in a particular action, but it is still a calculated risk. This is not saying that you trust someone completely with everything they do. You might just trust their judgment for a particular action based on your previous experiences with that persons abilities in that particular field of knowledge. Someone can earn your trust but it does not guarantee success.

When you are always Expectant, you will always experience more of the unexpected.

It’s like you are always leaving a door open for people to get under your skin so that they can irritate you. You have to label that door with this saying “The Level of Communication has Changed”. You have to learn to know when the level of communication has changed. Communicating on an emotional level or even a professional level is never a constant. You have to learn to listen to just the words. Do not listen to the tone that is being used to speak the words, just the words themselves. And do not pay attention to the timing of those words or their lack of relevance, just listen to the words and then calmly give a logical response. You have to Learn how to weigh the things that you are using to measure something. When you are judging someone it's really important to know what you are measuring this judgment with and how those things measure against what's important as well as what your priorities are. If you don't know where the line is, how will you know when you crossed the line?

A taste of your own medicine, you can dish it out but can't take it, why don't people learn from this?

Anger Management

Praising - Awarding - Punishing

Most people mean well, it’s just that sometimes people don’t know what they mean.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Intrapersonal intelligence

"I don't judge people so much on the stupid things they say but more by the smart things they do."

"While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy."

"Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful."

"You can't pretend to know what my eyes see, all you can do is ask me what I'm looking at, and then you have to ask what I'm thinking about, because what I'm looking at might not even be related to what I'm thinking about, don't be a presumptuous idiot."

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or, losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

Dating Couple


Finding the Right Person

How do you find the right person for you?  How do you find Mrs. Right, or Mr. Right?  How do you build a healthy relationship?

Dating is a stage of the human mating process whereby two people meet socially, possibly as friends or possibly with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. It can be a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by the couple. The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country and over time. While the term has several meanings, the most common sense is two people trying out a relationship and exploring whether they are compatible by going out together in public as a couple, that is, they are undergoing a trial period to assess mutual compatibility. A related sense of the term refers to a couple who have already decided that they like each other, and are seeing each other on a regular basis, and who may or may not be having sexual relations. This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement or Marriage.

First you have to be happy being single. You have to be emotionally secure, and not desperate. You have to be able to take care of yourself. You have to able to handle rejection and not to take things personally. You have to know yourself. You have to know your values and know the things that are really important to you. You have to have dreams and goals. You have to know the difference between what you want, and what you need in a partner. 

162 Million Females in the U.S. as of July 2014. The number of males was 157.0 million.
How Many Singles?
U.S. Map showing Density areas of Married People and Not Married People

Remember, every relationship does not have to be a romantic relationship. And having expectations ruins relationships. And don't ever go by first impression's, and don't ever ignore behaviors that indicates trouble, ignorance, instability, or dishonesty.

It starts with being attracted to someone, hitting it off with someone, enjoying someone's company, feeling comfortable with someone so that you are always comfortable being yourself around that person.  

What are your likes and dislikes? What are your Interests? What are your long term goals?  What are your short term goals?  What are you doing now? When do you see yourself being ready to make a commitment? Are you still in the exploring stage?

Marriage Vows

Mutual respect, Trust, Honesty, Supportive, Fairness/equality, Separate identities, Good communication, A sense of playfulness/fondness

Dating Websites, Online Dating Services and Social Networks should be more about teaching people about relationships instead of exploiting their desires, or, exploiting their personal information for financial gain. We should be learning from our experiences and knowledge instead of using our experiences and knowledge just to attract a mate.

Matchmaking is the process of matching two or more people together, usually for the purpose of marriage, but the word is also used in the context of sporting events such as boxing, in business, in online video games and in pairing organ donors.


Courtship is the period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. During courtship, a couple get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such agreement. A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two people or may be a public affair, or a formal arrangement with family approval. Traditionally, in the case of a formal engagement, it has been perceived that it is the role of a male to actively "court" or "woo" a female, thus encouraging her to understand him and her receptiveness to a proposal of marriage.

Cohabitation is an arrangement where two people who are not married live together. Such arrangements have become increasingly common in Western countries during the past few decades, being led by changing social views, especially regarding marriage, gender roles and religion. They often involve a romantic and/or sexually intimate relationship on a long-term or permanent basis. More broadly, the term cohabitation can mean any number of people living together. To "cohabit", in a broad sense, means to "coexist". The origin of the term comes from the mid 16th century, from the Latin cohabitare, from co- 'together' + habitare 'dwell'.

Concubinage is an interpersonal relationship in which a person engages in an ongoing sexual relationship with another person to whom he/she is not or cannot be married to in the full extent of the local meaning of marriage. The inability to marry may be due to multiple factors such as differences in social rank status, an existing marriage, religious prohibitions, professional ones (for example Roman soldiers) or a lack of recognition by appropriate authorities. The woman in such a relationship is referred to as a concubine.

Consummation is the first (or first officially credited) act of sexual intercourse between two people, either following their marriage to each other or after a prolonged sexual attraction. The definition of consummation usually refers to penile-vaginal sexual penetration, but some religious doctrines hold that there is an additional requirement that there must not be any contraception used.

Just because you find someone who shares the same interests does not necessarily mean that they want to share these interests with you. There's so much more to a relationship. It usually takes about 6 months to one year before you can actually know a person and understand them. And it's not just knowing who that person is but also knowing who you are when you're with that person. So in actuality you're Discovering two people at once.  Why do people Change? 

Some People just don't have the same Awareness.
Some People just don't have the same Knowledge.
Some People just don't have the same Belief System.
Some People just don't have the same Sense of Humor.

When people study the same subjects and seek similar careers, they have a tendency to marry each other.
Percentage of Men who Marry women who Share Majors
Percentage of Women
Percentage of People

Everyone should have a Relationship Contract that explains their idea of what a perfect relationship should be. How much are you willing to compromise on each others differences?

Our Relationship Contracts
Pre Relationship Agreement
How to Have a Healthy Relationship
Human Sexuality

Mutual Love Agreement
Ask a Love Coach

Annoying Things Your Friends Say After A Break-Up (youtube)

Rejection occurs when an individual is deliberately excluded from a social relationship or social interaction.

Dating Advice

Dating Tips (youtube, 1949)

Beware of the Doghouse- Hilarious! (youtube)

Feeling Boxed In 

Every 13 seconds, someone in the United States files for divorce.

Finding the right person for you is an incredible thing, but it's not impossible. But you still have to understand that you will never know who the right person will be, or will you ever know if the right person you have now is actually the right person for you. So there's really no right person, only the best person that you have found so far. And don't waste your time thinking about the ' what if's ' or waste your time with regrets. Even though it's fun to imagine all the different scenarios that could have happened in your life, those dreams will never be productive or healthy because it's impossible to calculate what could have been when all the factors involved could never be known. So it's just a dream, and when it comes to dreams, you should choose your dreams wisely, dreams that have a higher percentage of coming true, or dreams that are not so centered around you.

Questions you might ask when you are trying to know someone on a personal level.

Note: You really have to be good at analyzing the answers to these questions. And the answers may not be that accurate, because sometimes people don't know the truth, or even know enough about the question to accurately answer it. So the first answer may not be the same answer later on, especially after the person had time to think about the question a little more. These questions may help you to understand a little about someone, but this is in no way a judgment of that person, because only an open debate and discussion could accurately understand our views and our perceptions, which is totally related to what we know now, and not related to what we will learn and know in the future. Because the more we learn, the more we can understand ourselves and the more we can understand other people, but that's only if you learn the right things at the right time. Think of these questions as a starting point of a conversation, don't think of these questions as an interview, or an assessment, or a judgment, or some sort of measurement.

Observation Flaws and Effects

Personality Testing  

"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."

Set I
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling ... "
26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... "
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (SAGE)
Authors: Arthur Aron (SUNY Stony Brook), Edward Melinat (California Graduate School of Family Psychology), Elaine N. Aron (SUNY Stony Brook), Robert Darrin Vallone (University of California, Santa Cruz), Renee J. Bator (Arizona State University) 

If You Like Pina Coladas - Jimmy Bufett (youtube)

More Questions you May want to Ask
Choose the questions that you want to ask that you believe are the most important to you

How would your friends describe you?
Tell me one thing you really like about yourself?
What is one thing you’d like to change about yourself?
how would you like people to remember you?
What’s your story?
are you working on something that really excites you?
What is a hidden talent of yours very few people know about?
What global issue do you wish you could solve?
What place have you always wanted to travel to?
have you read any good books lately?
What is your favorite movie?
Who inspires you? Who do you aspire to be like?
do you believe in something that very few others agree with?
What is one of your guilty pleasures?
What do you like to do outside of work?
If you could be a professional athlete, what sport would you play?
If you were given a time machine, what time period would you go to?
If you only had two weeks to live, what would you do?
If you were given $1 million but had to spend it in one day, how would you spend it?
If you could put up a billboard, where would you put it, and what would it say?
If a genie granted you three wishes, what would they be?
What is one skill you feel every person should have?
What is one goal you’d like to accomplish during your lifetime?

What is your mother’s maiden name?
What color are your eyes?
What is one place you desperately want to travel to?
What do they regret about your family life?
What foods can you absolutely not stand?
Do you shower in the morning or at night?
Have you ever voted?
What type of chocolate do you prefer?
Is there a certain nickname you absolutely hate to be called?
Where is your family from?
Is your family religious?
Do you want a cat or a dog?
Which friend have you known the longest?
What childhood memory do you always bring up?
Do they think of yourself as extroverted or introverted?
Do other people think of you as extroverted or introverted?
Do you want children?
What do you think of long term commitments, marriage, etc.?
Do you like foreplay?
Are you a light sleeper?
Do you like to cuddle while they sleep?
Which celebrity do you find most attractive?
How do you wind down at the end of a long day?
Do you drink every day?
Would you ever want to live abroad?
Do you still have their wisdom teeth?
What do you like on pizza?
Do you have severe allergies and what are they?
If they went to college, what did you study?
Do you believe in God?
What’s your favorite sex position?
In an ideal world, how many times a week would you want to have sex?
What’s your least favorite part of their current job?
What are you currently reading?
Are you conscious about saving money?
What is your ideal date night?
Where were you born?
How do you take your coffee?
What is the one thing you could say to make them start arguing with you?
What is your astrological sign?
What is your favorite season?
What amount of PDA are you comfortable with?
What is your go-to drink order?
How old were you when they lost their virginity?
What are your porn preferences?
Are you confrontational?
How often do you use social media?
Do you have condiment/hot sauce preferences?
What makes you insanely impatient?
What is your go-to form of exercise?
What is your dream job?
What is your favorite meal?
Who is your closest friend currently?
What is the one thing that gets you off every time?
Do you like celebrating your birthday?

If today was your last day what would you do?

What do you worry about in the future?

What do you do?
What business are you in?
What do you like about your job?
How did you get started in this kind of work?

You can learn so much about someone if you hear even a bit about their journey instead of
focusing exclusively on the here and now. And when people start telling their story, things
can really get interesting.

What are your Work Ethics?

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Which is worse, failing or never trying?
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Why are you, you?
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
What are you most grateful for?
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
If not now, then when?
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

How well do you know your partner? Take our quiz to find out

Background Checks

Observation Flaws

Be Nice
Talk nicely and listen compassionately with deep concern and appreciation for the other person. Do something nice for the other person. Actions sometimes speak louder then words, and gifts are symbolic of love, affection and appreciation. And don't just think about material gifts, there are gifts that come from kind gestures, or gifts that come from giving someone your full attention.

Showing Affection through physical touch also has many benefits, a hug, a handshake, a gentle hand on the shoulder, or even a message.

sorry you didn't mrrt my ridiculas standards

I regret having held in even a single fart for you

It's not you, it's me finally realizing you're terrible for me.

You deserve someone worse

If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be wrong.

"Everyone who's ever loved you was wrong."

"I don't care what people say about you. You're alright."

"Somewhere out there a tree is working very hard to replace the oxygen you consume. Now go apologize to it."

Some of My Personal Experiences with Dating

Sometimes Feeling Boxed In

I knew I had a lot of growing up to do, but I found it hard to grow up when I was around women, and I also found it totally impossible to grow up just hanging around with your buddies. But I learned that the feeling I had like I was being boxed in was of my own making. So I had to learn how to not build walls and learn how to build bridges instead of burning bridges.

"Why does having a girlfriend give you a false sense of security, and a false sense of pride or social acceptance?"

"Marriage or relationships, no matter how loving, can still become a prison."

Selena Gomez - Same Old Love (youtube)

I know from my experiences with women, that there were times when I enjoyed the sex more then my girlfriends did. That was not intentional of course, it was mostly from my lack of experience and the fact that I was an idiot, and also that some women did not take the time to show you how to please them, but maybe they too didn't know how to explain it. Pleasing a women as much as she pleases me is all I ever wanted. I want my girlfriend to enjoy sex as much as I do. A women who has sex with you knowing that she will not enjoy that sexual encounter, is either a very generous and loving women, or a women who wants some kind of compensation for her services. I see nothing wrong with either one as long as the relationship is honest and not exploitive in any way. Women are like Gods to me. Women are the giver of life, the guardians of our children, the loving companionship of man. If a women is not a gift from God, she is certainly the most loved creation of all Gods creatures. 


"Sex is usually better when you're in Love when compared to Sex without Love, and Love at First Sight, is usually just temporary."

There were a lot of times in my life where I have stopped dating because I believed that the women I dated were killing me. But as time went on I realized that there were a lot of other things in my life that were killing me besides women. I made a lot of bad choices, and women were not to blame. I was not well informed or very knowledgeable. It took me a long time to learn this so I'm lucky that I didn't stop learning and I'm glad that I didn't give up, because I know, as I have always known, that somewhere out there in the world, there's the right women for me. And I don't feel that I waited to long or feel like I wasted time, because it took as long as what was needed. It was more then believing that "Good things come to those who wait" or, "Don't rush into things", or "Be carful what you wish for", it was more about "it is what it is", my fate, my destiny, my life, my love. I can't say that I'm totally ready for the women of my dreams, but I'm more ready now then I ever was. Plus I'm a lot more mature, I'm more secure and definitely a lot more loving now then I ever was.

One Night Stand: Where loneliness, hornyness and attraction meets opportunity. It's not a well thought out plan."

Madonna - Beautiful Stranger (youtube)
Strangers in The Night - Frank Sinatra (youtube)

Can you have sex and enjoy it without having an emotional connection with that person? Yes some people do it all the time, not to say that it's for everyone, or that it's without risk, it's just saying that it's not that unusual.   Tom Jones (youtube)

I don't have any regrets, what I have are lessons learned and some incredible experiences. And the beauty of it is, I can share all my experiences and knowledge and pass it on. There is nothing more valuable then sharing what you have learned, after all, my life benefited in many ways from people in the past and present who also took the time and effort to share their experiences and knowledge, a lot of which also improved the life of millions. Not to say that we are there yet, but at least now we can finally see a better future. And as we get closer, the more defined our future will become.  (12 / 9 / 2013)

Horizon: The range of interest or activity that can be anticipated.   New Age (wiki)

Another reason for going solo many times in my life was at times I didn't want people following me because I had no idea where I was going. I also didn't want to keep any of my girls friends from having the kind of life that they were hoping for. I also didn't want to follow other people either, because that would make it hard for me to figure out where I was personally going. Even if we agreed to find out together, that would still mean that we might eventually be headed in different directions any way. I also did not want to influence anyone unless I was positively sure, and I was wasn't sure of a lot of things. But anyway, I'm not sure if it was the easy way or the only way, but I am sure now, that it was the right way for me. And at 53 I'm still searching, not for that perfect women, just a women who's perfect for me, and I perfect for her.  (4 / 5 / 14) 

Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal) (youtube)

I didn't plan to have kids, but maybe if I found the right women I may have, so It just turned out that way. I don't regret not having children or am I ever saddened by it. I just hope that I can do enough things that would make big differences in the world, something that would benefit all children, and I'm already been working on that, BK101. Would I ever get married? of course, but that women would have to be incredibly intelligent and mentally and physically strong. I'm not looking for my equal, I'm just looking for a women who never stops learning, a women who loves to ask the right questions, a women who's not afraid to make mistakes, a women who's passionate about improving education, a women who can look you in the eyes and say 'I'm with you till the end'. 

"I always dream of having a wonderful relationship with a women, but I know that dreams are always better then reality. So I have to start learning how to create a wonderful relationship, instead of just dreaming about having one."

I have as much to offer a women as a women has to offer me, meaning, if you define all the important qualities that you know are valuable, you'll find that men and women will always share similar qualities. The problem is we don't always share those similar qualities at the same time, or in the same way Our freedom has made it possible for us to be out of sync, but out of sync should not mean out of touch. If we improve this imperfection in our thinking, we'll have a lot more love in our relationships, and a lot more time to enjoy life then ever before. Sync up and get in touch.

I was thinking about becoming a Professional Fake Boy Friend so I could help women stay single while avoiding the pressures and constant nagging from family and friends for them to get married and to start a family. But now I'm too old.

Knowing that I can Still Fall in Love

I'm just glad that I'm still Falling in Love after all these years. But of course these days I'm only falling in love from a distance.
Getting close to a women is still complicated these days. But there's a few different reasons for being single these days. And one of the reasons is that I'm not even trying right now. But that's just one of the reasons. The other reason is that I'm waiting for my life to be a little bit more stable. But I know that I shouldn't be waiting for things to be perfect in my life, because things will never will be totally perfect in my life. Besides, if the women I want can't handle the imperfections of my life as they are now, then she would most likely never handle the tough times. In sickness or in health, good times or bad times, I don't want a party pooper in my life. And I could also say that I have higher priorities in my life right now. But one of the things that I have been learning lately is that I should never over look the benefits of having a women in my life. Because finding the time to look for love, can also be saving time. But I don't want to waste time with someone. I want to make time with someone, someone special. I will know who my love is when I find her. And I know that falling in love will lead me to her, but I will never be able to reach her if the love that she has for me is not the same love that I have for her. I'm not picky, I'm just following my heart. And I know that my heart will lead me to her, either in this life or the next. So I will never give up. Time is not that all I have, I also have Love.

I miss the excitement of dating someone new, even though the process from just Dating to intimacy was sometimes awkward. The fear of having a bad sexual experience made me a little nervous sometimes, and a little Self Conscious and paranoid, which makes it difficult to have a good sexual experience under those conditions. But when I look back, I'm glad that some sexual experiences never happened, because if they were good, they may have made me be with the wrong person. Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for God to bring the women of my dreams, but maybe God knows it's not the right time. I wanted to be with someone, but the dating process seemed unnatural. I'm not good at finding the right women. I don't want to be with someone if I just end up breaking up with her. I don't want to hurt someone, because I know how painful it is to have someone breaking up with you. I would rather have someone break up with me then to have to break up with someone.

Some people get lucky and find the right person the first time they meet someone. Others have multiple relationships before they find the right person. What ever you do, don't let the fear of being alone force you into a relationship that's not right for you. Being single again after an unfavorable relationship always feels awesome, almost as awesome as finding a new girlfriend, almost.

My priorities have changed, a lot of things are on hold now.

"I want to make a women feel good, I want her to feel special, I want a women to feel loved and to feel beautiful, but if not, then maybe we would be better off being just friends then lovers."

"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love." (Tom Robbins)

Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly. (Sam Keen)

While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.

Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.

According to a survey of adults aged 20 to 59, women have an average of 4 sex partners during their lifetime; men have an average of 7.

Billy Joel - She's Always a Women to Me (youtube)
Amerie - 1 Thing (youtube)
Halo - Gary Lightbody (youtube)

Bread It Don't Matter to Me (youtube)
Leonard Cohen - Suzanne (youtube)
Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye (youtube)
Barry White - Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Baby (youtube)

The TOADIES Possum Kingdom - Make up your Mind (youtube)

ZAYN, 'Pillowtalk (youtube) Love doesn't have to be a Battlefield.   Love Is A Battlefield - Pat Benatar

Linda Maria Ronstadt tells you how to let someone down easy and tell them that you're not interested, it's not you, it's me
You can't see the forest for the trees, meaning you can't see the whole situation clearly because you're looking too closely at small details, or, you can't fully understand the forest just by looking at the trees.

Kids On: HOW TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE (S2, Episode 4) (youtube)

Love Songs

Music Knowledge

I remember when I had a girl friend when I was young, it made some of my male friendships more complicated. Because now you have something to do and that they can't share with you. I have done this to friends, and I have also had friends do this to me. It sucks, but it shouldn't. The way you handle new aspects of a relationship is to express the awkwardness and separation anxiety before they get misunderstood.  There will be new rules, and some things will not be the same. Men are now a little paranoid of what the new girl friend will think, so they will act differently, while their friends will act the same way. You want a girlfriend who will not change the relationships with your male friends, but you also want a girlfriend who will voice her opinion, because she could make you see something that you might not be aware of. You can't treat your girl friend like one of the guys. But why would you treat anyone differently? You don't want to say certain things to your girlfriend, but why do you say certain things with your male friends? You have to question whether these differences in behavior are healthy. To have a good relationship is to have good teamwork, each person looking out for the other. The more we learn about relationships, the easier they become, and the more beneficial they will be.

"I'm not really single, I'm kind of in a long distance relationship with my future girl friend. So she technically doesn't exist yet, but I'm hoping to change that soon."

Interpersonal intelligence - People Smart


Body Language
Facial Expressions

When Observations are Flawed

Intrapersonal intelligence
Self Smart

Who Am i ?


Reactions to Stress




Solitude is a Skill

I love you

Don't be Fake

Be Pure Be Good
The Summer of Love

Just Married Couple

Marriage - Weddings

Wedding is a Ceremony where two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of marriage vows by the couple, presentation of a gift (offering, ring(s), symbolic item, flowers, money), and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority figure. Special wedding garments are often worn, and the ceremony is sometimes followed by a wedding reception. Music, poetry, prayers or readings from religious texts or literature are also commonly incorporated into the ceremony.

Marriage also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws, as well as society in general. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity. When defined broadly, marriage is considered a cultural universal.

Marriage Law (wiki)

Common Law Marriage is a legal framework in a limited number of jurisdictions where a couple is legally considered married after 7 Years together, without that couple having formally registered their relation as a civil or religious marriage.
(informal marriage, marriage by habit and repute, or marriage in fact)

Promise is a commitment by someone to do or not do something. As a noun promise means a declaration assuring that one will or will not do something. As a verb it means to commit oneself by a promise to do or give. It can also mean a capacity for good, similar to a value that is to be realized in the near future.

Marriage Vows are promises each partner in a couple makes to the other during a wedding ceremony.

My Wedding Vows

Pledge is a solemn binding promise to do, give, or refrain from doing something. Bound by or as if by an oath. Promise solemnly and formally. Give as a guarantee.

Oaths of Service

Engagement is a promise to wed, and also the period of time between a marriage proposal and a marriage. During this period, a couple is said to be betrothed (Pledged), "intended", affianced, engaged to be married, or simply engaged.

Marriage Builders
Stories of Long Marriages

Dowry is a payment by the groom or his family to the bride's parents.

Arranged Marriage - Women's Rights

Having Children - Reproduction

The Ultimate Wedding Planner & Organizer Book (Ring-Bound) (amazon)
Wedding Tips & Planning Information

Wedding Planner (wiki)
Event Planning (wiki)

Web Cast My Wedding

Bands & DJ's
Wedding Website
Live Vows
Music Websites
The Knot

I Do....and Now I Don't, So what do you do with that Wedding Ring?

Make your own Wedding Ring

Green Wedding Ideas
Vibrant Events
Green Weddings
Green Wedding
Green Products
Plant a Memory
E Vite

Baby Earth

There's over 4 million Weddings in America every year, and an average of 4 million Births.
"It's better to Thrive before Wive, and to choose your Wife by the Ear than by your Eye."

Are you Ready for Marriage?

Contemptuous behavior like eye-rolling, sarcasm and name-calling is the number one predictor of Divorce.

Contempt is the Lack of respect accompanied by a feeling of intense dislike the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.

Body Language

Carly Simon "That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be" 1971 (youtube - great song about thinking of marriage)
Lesley Gore "You Don't Own Me" 1963 HD (youtube)
The White Stripes-Hardest Button To Button (youtube)
Going To The Chapel Of Love- The Dixie Cups (youtube)
Songs about Marriage (wiki)

Life on drugs is not better, drugs only makes life seem better. That's the same thing as saying being married makes you live longer, being married only makes life seem longer. Our awareness is a beautiful thing, but only if we pay attention to our awareness, and only if we actually understand our awareness accurately enough. Like any skill or any ability, it's a learned experience from having access to the correct knowledge and information.

The Thinker Man