is a state of connectedness
A state involving
dealings between people
or parties or countries.
A close connection
of interests or
similarity in nature or
is a mutual or
actions, a kind of action that occurs as two or more objects have an
effect upon one another. The idea of a two-way effect is essential in the
concept of interaction, as opposed to a one-way causal effect. A closely
related term is interconnectivity, which deals with the interactions of
interactions within systems: combinations of many simple interactions can
lead to surprising emergent phenomena.
is the process of development of a close, interpersonal
relationship. It most commonly takes place between family members or
friends, but can also develop among groups, such as sporting teams and
whenever people spend time together. Bonding is a mutual, interactive
process, and is different from simple liking. Bonding typically refers to
the process of
attachment that develops between romantic partners,
close friends, or parents and children. This bond is characterized by
emotions such as affection and trust. Any two people who spend time
together may form a bond. Male bonding refers to the establishment of
relationships between men through shared activities. The term female
bonding refers to the formation of
close personal relationships
is the web of social relationships that form an important part of the
lives of most humans in most societies, although its exact meanings even
within this discipline are often debated.
is a process whereby larger entities, patterns, and
regularities arise through interactions among smaller or simpler entities
that themselves do not exhibit such properties.
you need to deliberately work on the relationship and purposely find
better ways to
. This needs time and effort. If you never take the time
and effort, your relationships will never improve on their own. You both
need to commit to learning, and not just learn from each other, but
learning as mush as you can about human development as well as the
world around you. This takes time and effort. You need to fully understand
the importance of this
that we call learning. To under estimate the importance
of learning, is to deny yourself of a life worth living.
The Importance of Friendships
One of the greatest benefits of
is that you get to
also say things and do things that
you normally wouldn’t do. In a way you’re clarifying who you
are. And you’re not just revealing your true self to your friends,
but also defining who you are to yourself. This is where a person can find
acceptance, and not just acceptance with others, but acceptance
Good friendships are sanctuaries
filled with therapeutic communication and wonderful memories.
But friendships can also be incredibly devastating when a
friendship falls apart.
And you’re not just losing a friend, but also losing a part of
yourself. Friendships offer us a type of sharing that is our
connection, connecting our inner world with the outer world.
Everyone needs a friend, but not all friendships are healthy. So
choose your friends wisely and share your time accordingly. And
remember the most important friendship in your life is the
friendship that you have with
. Because when there is no
one there to talk to, you better be a best friend to yourself,
because if you’re not, you will lose the only true friend that
you will ever have.
With having a lot of friends you can
never be prepared enough for when a friendship takes a turn for
the worse and your friends
becomes your mistakes. And
not only does a friendship go sour, but you're left picking up
the pieces and forced to perform damage control in order to
. Don't bother playing
, it's best that you learn what you can from the
experience and apply that knowledge to future events so that you
can avoid repeating your mistakes, even if those mistakes are
is a strong, deep, or close association or
acquaintance between two or more people that may range in duration from
brief to enduring. This association may be based on inference, love,
solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social
commitment. Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of
social, cultural and other influences. The context can vary from family or
kinship relations, friendship, marriage, relations with associates, work,
clubs, neighborhoods, and places of worship. They may be regulated by law,
custom, or mutual agreement, and are the basis of social groups and
society as a whole.
So what defines a 'Friend' ?
What does it mean to really know someone?
A friend is someone who shares
your feelings or
hopes that you will be successful. A person who reduces the
intensity of fears and helps to calm and pacify.
attached to another by feelings of affection
regard. Having affection and a positive feeling of liking.
binding yourself (intellectually or
emotionally) to someone. Giving Promise
to someone and
give grounds for expectations by agreeing to do (or not to do)
something in the future. A person who is on good terms with
another. A person who is not hostile. A person you know well and
regard with affection and Trust
. Having Closeness
to someone and having personal knowledge or information about
someone but not necessarily knowing everything about someone. A
person who is
and provides Cooperation
A feeling of being intimate and belonging together.
is a procedure in which two people, the "buddies
", operate together as a
single unit so that they are able to monitor and help each other.
, availability, reliability, durability, safety
is to give moral or
emotional strength to. Affording comfort
someone who you can confide in and trust.
is the breaking or violation of a presumptive
contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological
conflict within a relationship amongst individuals.
Songs about Friendship
BEN - Michael Jackson
When the sun shines, we'll shine together, Told you I'd be
here forever, Said I'll always be a friend, Took an oath, I'ma stick it
out 'til the end. Come here to me, under my umbrella.
Highasakite - Since Last Wednesday
(youtube)We're Going To Be
Friends- The White Stripes
You're My Best
Friend - Queen
I'll Be There - The
Lean On Me - Bill
In My Life - The
You've Got A Friend
In Me - Randy Newman
With A Little Help
From My Friends - The Beatles
I’ll Be There For
You - The Rembrandts
Count On Me - Bruno
Wind Beneath My
Wings - Bette Midler
Anytime You Need A
Friend - Mariah Carey
I’ll Stand By You -
Forever) -Vitamin C
Best Friend -Harry
Wannabe -The Spice Girls
Thank You For Being
A Friend - Andrew Gold
Lou Reed - Perfect
"Sometimes you choose your friends and sometimes friends choose you. But what ever the case may be, the
importance of those friendships will always be surprising."
"Some friendships are created from common interests, and when those interests
change, sometimes the friendship changes too."
One of the benefits of having a friend is
that a friend can tell you something about yourself that you
never noticed before. But sometimes the truth hurts, but if you
can learn from it, and better yourself, then the criticism, or
the friendly observation, will be well worth the pain. Besides,
the most important revelations will always have some kind of
discomfort or sadness about them.
Types of Friends
Each kind of friend has its own level of closeness and
Best Friend, Good Friend, Old Friend, Girlfriend, Boyfriend,
Family Friend, Work Friend, Associate,
School Friend, Classmate, Buddy, Sports Friend, Religious
Friend, Church Friend,
Childhood Friend, Neighborhood Friend, Roommate, Fellow
Crony, Confidant, Backer, Advocate, Ally, Confrere, Compatriot,
is any relationship between two or more
is a close friend who accompanies his buddies in their
is an ardent follower and admirer; Patron, Supporter,
is a person who admires; someone who esteems or
respects or approves.
is a male with the same parents as someone
else, A male sworn (usually by a ceremony involving the mingling
of blood) to treat another as his brother.
is mutual trust
and friendship among people who spend a lot of time together.
association of people who share common beliefs or activities.
The state of being with someone.
knowledge or information about someone or something. Close or
is the relative
tendency or disposition to be sociable or associate with one's
is a close companion or colleague (not necessarily in fiction) who is, or
generally regarded as, subordinate to the one he or she accompanies. Some
well-known fictional sidekicks are Don Quixote's Sancho Panza, Sherlock
Holmes' Doctor Watson, The Lone Ranger's Tonto, The Green Hornet's Kato,
Shrek's Donkey, Sonic's Tails and Batman's Robin.Working
I seem to have
more Acquaintances then Friends, so what's the difference
is a state of being acquainted with
more than just a slight or superficial knowledge about someone.
Being Familiar with someone as a
result of continued meetings, as in old companions.
Mutual communication and sharing thoughts and feelings. Being comfortable with the interchange
of thought, but not having 100 percent trust in that person or
being totally open and honest.
A person you know well and regard with affection and trust.
Confidence in a person or plan.
Familiarity and intimacy mark
different degrees of closeness in
you perceive may affect your
don’t notice the things others do for them until they stop doing
Keeping in Touch
Life can be
really busy and complicated at times, so it's easy to lose sight
of people and things. I want to keep in touch with people but at
the same time I don't want to lose sight of what I'm doing. Life
is full of changes, and sometimes friendships get misplaced
during those changes. It's not the quantity of time that you get
to spend with your friends, it's the quality of time that's
important, which is so true and not just some lame excuse for
not calling your friends.
I find it easy to
, but I'm not so good at
, why? Many reasons, but which
reasons are relevant and which reasons can be easily corrected?
And how many real friendships can you realistically maintain
And this is not about counting social network friends like on
, because the people with the least amount of
friends on Facebook can actually be a better friend then someone
who has several hundred friends on Facebook. So I wouldn't use a
social network as some kind of an indicator of character. A
higher amount of friends does not always equate to a higher
level of trustworthiness or friendliness. So what other factors
are needed in determining how trusting and how honest someone
If there's one
thing I'm good at, it's losing touch with people. I call it Call
Back Disorder. When two people don't communicate with each
other, then they lose touch. But it only takes one person to
call, and if you're not the one who calls, then losing touch is
If you want to keep in touch with me you got to be the one who
maintains the friendship and calls. That's why I like my friends
to be maintenance free, but that never happens. Because everyone
needs maintenance, even me. But I'm improving, except for that
phone thing. You would think that I would have mastered the
phone by now? "I was busy"
This is not about
flaking or the Silent Treatment, it's just
ineffective communication skills.
Why would you
stop being friends just because a lot of time has passed? Even
when a loved one dies I am still their friend, even knowing that
I may never see them again. But if I did see them in heaven, I'm
not going to say, "Hey! Why didn't you call me?"
I would rather say, "It's good to see you again."
"I have always found
it easy to make new friends, but I always found it difficult to
keep in touch. My mind is always wondering. There's nothing
wrong with my attention span, it's just natural to keep moving.
Humans are born to move, born to discover. And that's why humans
are all over the planet, and that's why humans are in space. We
keep moving, to learn, to know, to live. So if I don't call you,
don't worry, I'm just occupied with discovering, like millions
of humans have done for the last 500,000 years or so."
It's hard keep
all our relationships active. I like to think that we are
probably thinking pretty much the same things and living through
similar situations, because we all live on the same planet. So I
will catch up with you when I see you.
"Even though we may never see
each other again, I know in my heart we will always be friends."
"Good Friends are
like Stars, you might not always see them but you know they're
"A friend is someone
who appreciates your jokes, and most of the time, understands
"What is time
between friends? People change, you change, the world changes.
But does that mean the friendship has to change? It only takes a
little time to catch up, so if the friendship matters, then
catching up will be fun."
"Anyone can be that
someone, that someone that you should listen to, that person who
A lot of the friends I had were just
looking for someone to do crazy stuff with, and of course I was
always a willing participant, as well as an instigator, because
with my imagination I was always coming up with crazy things to
do. But I was extremely lucky to have some friends who had their
limits, friends who knew when to say no, and friends who were more
aware then I was, which was a good thing because I was stupid
enough to do or try almost anything. So having friends with
limits definitely helps, they help keep you out of trouble and
make you a little more aware of common sense, but not always of
finds a way.
Live and Learn
"I'm the kind of
person who hangs around for a while then disappears. I absorb
what ever information you have and then I'm off, but not with
everyone. There are some people you have to stay connected too."
"As we grow up, we
realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more
important to have real ones."
"Making a hundred
friends is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a single friend
who will stand by your side even when hundreds are against you."
Having friends is like having
to moments in your life.
"I feel that some friendships are not
even a choice. Some people just tend to gravitate towards one
another like some kind of
, which is part
mutual agreement, none of which neither is aware of."
is a harsh
word, and it's also not an accurate word to use. Everyone has different
tastes and different needs, and those tastes and needs change as we get
older and become more mature. So sometimes relationships are all about the
timing. When you meet someone at the right time, it's easier to make a
connection. But this does not mean that the connection will last, because
everyone changes over time. Some changes take people in different
directions, and other changes may take us in the same direction, which
means that a long lasting relationship is very possible.
Time to yourself
is important buts
it's not always beneficial. There's a time you need to be
with yourself and
then there are times that you need to venture out and
- I need a little Space
Everyone should have most of these particular skills below, if
not, you should at least know some people who could provide
these skills for you. These are the skills that every
should have. That's why parenting is called a Big
Qualities and Skills of a Worker
How to Be a Good Host
Being there for someone is actually
physically being there.
It's a good idea to have good relationships with people and
create strong bonds and friendships. You should know certain
people, especially people who have knowledge and skills about
society and survival. People who can see things more clearly then
others, people who can make good decisions and people who can
analyze situations more accurately then most people do. People
you can trust. That is what a
should be like, an
extension of your family. And this is also how a strong and
should be created. From there it's all about
educating the young so they can continue to make progress,
continue to make improvements, and continue to preserve the
quality of life for everyone, and for future generations. So
every new generation should be more educated then the previous
generation. But lately this is not happening fast enough for any
to happen. Many improvements in education
will be needed in order to reach our goals and to ultimately reach
our full potential.
"Treat your family
like friends and your friends like family."
usually the most complicated, they can be the most enjoyable and
the most rewarding but they can also be the most
of all relationships.
are people descended from a common ancestor. A social unit living
together. A person having
with another or others.
Family Relatives Include
, Wife, Husband, Child, Step Child, Niece,
Nephew, Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, Grandparent, Great Grandparent,
, Distant Relative.
is a family that extends beyond the nuclear family, consisting of parents,
aunts, uncles, and cousins, all living nearby or in the same household.
is a family group consisting of a pair of a woman and a man (adults) and
their children (one or more), considering a time after the pair
engagement, different than Family-in-law. It is in contrast to a
single-parent family, to the larger extended family, and to a family with
more than two parents.
is a defined group of relations, used in rules or laws to determine which
members of a person's family are affected by those rules. It normally
includes a person's parents, spouses, siblings, children. It can contain
others connected by birth, adoption, marriage, civil partnership, or
cohabitation, such as grandparents, great-grandparents, grandchildren,
great-grandchildren, aunts, uncles, siblings-in-law, half-siblings,
cousin, adopted children and step-parents/step-children, and cohabiting
is the property of being from the same kinship as
another person. In that aspect, consanguinity is the quality of being
descended from the same ancestor as another person.
Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
Senior Citizen Stories
are very useful tools in every relationship.
All relationships experience
difficulties from time to time.
are sometimes taken for granted.
These differences in
makes most relationships very difficult to
communicate effectively with some relationships being totally
Communication is a two-way street. Listen not just with your
ears but with your mind and your heart together. There is always
more then just the words that people speak and always more then
just the actions that people take, there is always more to
There's more then meets the ear, There's more then meets the
eye. Listen to the words and not so much the tone in which they
are spoken. You have to learn how to separate
when listening. This is not to say that you
should not use emotion when speaking because some people respond
better to emotion, as long as you are sure what emotion to use.
Everyone makes the mistake of always
more from the other person. And usually people
expect more from the other person then they are willing to give
to the other person. And when we get
because we don't get what's expected from life or from
other people, we are just destroying all forms of communication,
internally and externally, and also destroying any chance of
having a healthy conversation or relationship, which allows
ignorance to control our moods and ignorance to ruin our lives.
You have to learn how to communicate more
and expect less. When
we expect we reject
. A question is much easier then just
you know the answer or outcome. You have to stop doing
the same thing or saying the same thing over and over again and
expecting different results or outcomes. You have learn how to
look for new ways of doing things and look for new ways of
understanding things. Learning to adjust and adapt is learning
to survive. Making changes and improvements is natural. Instead
of just overreacting
to a situation, take a moment for a
of the situation and then apply the best
that you have before you take action or open your mouth.
proposes an individual will behave or act
in a certain way because they are motivated to select a specific behavior
over other behaviors due to what they expect
the result of that selected
behavior will be.
Words that help explain why having Expectations is a
sense of security
that is also unfair and illogical ....
is a personal belief or judgment that is
not founded on proof or certainty.
is to believe
something to be true without verification or proof.
is an estimate based on little or no
is an assertion that someone is
of a fault or an offence
without clear evidence or proof
until proven guilty
(youtube) Seeing the same thing does not always mean feeling the same
needs to be mutual if we plan to see eye to eye.
You have to except the fact that some people will never change
. It's really hard to change
someone. So sometimes it's easier for you to make the change. And it's
not really a change either, it's more of an adjustment. As
relationships grow something's about people change and
something's stay the same, and trying to
your changes with someone else's changes is not
always that easy.
How can a person be
to their own family members and then be nice to
Why do people act differently
while in the presence of other people?
Certain relationships are more challenging than others, but
through each relationship we have an opportunity to grow and
help others do the same. Every relationship teaches us something
about loving, trusting, forgiving, setting boundaries, taking
ourselves, and taking care of each other. Use the lessons that
people teach you through your interactions, like patience,
compassion, or courage. Share the beauty that is you with the
people around you.Friendship
24 million children in America, one out of every three, live in
biological father-absent homes.
Consequences of Fatherlessness
The typical American lives only 18 miles from their Mom
True unselfishness is when you do
something for someone else who hardly ever does the same thing
for you, whether or not they unintentionally or intentionally
did not return your kindness.
Generosity is like an investment in
except that you never have to wait for a return from your
investment in love, because you could never be short on love
especially when you have the ability to create love anywhere you
The Truth does not have to Hurt.
You can still speak the truth without offending someone or
making a situation more complicated then it needs to be.
Honesty needs the right words at the right time.
Sincerity has Responsibilities that you need to be aware of.
is have confidence or faith in. Certainty based on past experience.
The trait of believing in the
reliability of others.
Inclined to believe or confide readily.
Trust is having faith in a particular
action, but it is still a calculated risk. This is not saying that you
trust someone completely with everything they do. You might just
trust their judgment for a particular action based on your
previous experiences with that persons abilities in that
particular field of knowledge. Someone can earn your trust but
it does not guarantee success.
When you are always
Expectant, you will always experience more of the
It’s like you are always leaving a door open for people to
get under your skin so that they can irritate you. You have to
label that door with this saying “The Level of Communication has
You have to learn to know when the level of communication has
Communicating on an emotional level or even a professional level
is never a constant.
You have to learn to listen to just the words. Do not listen to
the tone that is being used to speak the words, just the words
themselves. And do not pay attention to the timing of those
words or their lack of relevance, just listen to the words and
then calmly give a logical response.
You have to Learn how to weigh the things that you are using to
measure something. When you are judging someone it's really
important to know what you are measuring this judgment with and
how those things measure against what's important as well as
what your priorities are. If you don't know where the line is, how will you know when
you crossed the line?
A taste of your own medicine,
you can dish it out but can't take it, why don't people learn
Most people mean
just that sometimes people don’t know what they
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
"I don't judge people so much
on the stupid things they say but more by the smart things they do."
"While you’re busy looking for the
perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who
could make you perfectly happy."
"Don’t choose the one who is beautiful
to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful."
"You can't pretend to know what my eyes
see, all you can do is ask me what I'm looking at, and then you
have to ask what I'm thinking about, because what I'm looking at
might not even be related to what I'm thinking about, don't be a
Which is worse, when a good
friend moves away, or, losing touch with a good friend who lives
right near you?
Finding the Right Person
How do you find the right person for you? How do
you find Mrs. Right, or Mr. Right? How do you build a
Dating is a stage of the
human mating process whereby two people meet socially, possibly as
friends or possibly with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability
as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. It can be a form of
courtship consisting of social activities done by the couple. The
protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary
considerably from country to country and over time. While the term has
several meanings, the most common sense is two people trying out a
relationship and exploring whether they are compatible by going out
together in public as a couple, that is, they are undergoing a trial
period to assess mutual compatibility. A related sense of the term refers
to a couple who have already decided that they like each other, and are
seeing each other on a regular basis, and who may or may not be having
sexual relations. This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a
precursor to engagement or
First you have to be happy being single. You have
to be emotionally secure, and not desperate. You have to be able to take
care of yourself. You have to able to handle rejection and not to take
things personally. You have to know yourself. You have to know your values
and know the things that are really important to you. You have to have
dreams and goals. You have to know the difference between what you want,
and what you need in a partner.
162 Million Females in the U.S. as of July
2014. The number of males was 157.0 million.
How Many Singles?
Map showing Density areas of Married People and Not Married People
Remember, every relationship does not
have to be a romantic relationship. And having expectations
ruins relationships. And don't ever go by first impression's,
and don't ever ignore behaviors that indicates trouble,
ignorance, instability, or dishonesty.
It starts with being attracted to someone, hitting it off with
someone, enjoying someone's company, feeling comfortable with
someone so that you are always comfortable being yourself around
What are your likes and dislikes? What are your Interests? What
are your long term goals? What are your short term goals?
What are you doing now? When do you see yourself being ready to
make a commitment? Are you still in the exploring stage?
Mutual respect, Trust, Honesty, Supportive, Fairness/equality,
Separate identities, Good communication, A sense of
Online Dating Services and
Social Networks should be more about teaching people about
relationships instead of exploiting their desires, or,
exploiting their personal information
for financial gain. We should be learning from our experiences
and knowledge instead of using our experiences and knowledge
just to attract a mate.
Matchmaking is the process of matching two or more people
together, usually for the purpose of marriage, but the word is also used
in the context of sporting events such as boxing, in business, in online
video games and in pairing organ donors.
Courtship is the period in a couple's relationship which
precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed
relationship of a more enduring kind. During courtship, a couple get to
know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such
agreement. A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two
people or may be a public affair, or a formal arrangement with family
approval. Traditionally, in the case of a formal engagement, it has been
perceived that it is the role of a male to actively "court" or "woo" a
female, thus encouraging her to understand him and her receptiveness to a
proposal of marriage.
Cohabitation is an arrangement where two people who are not
married live together. Such arrangements have become increasingly common
in Western countries during the past few decades, being led by changing
social views, especially regarding marriage, gender roles and religion.
They often involve a romantic and/or sexually intimate relationship on a
long-term or permanent basis. More broadly, the term cohabitation can mean
any number of people living together. To "cohabit", in a broad sense,
means to "coexist". The origin of the term comes from the mid 16th
century, from the Latin cohabitare, from co- 'together' + habitare
Concubinage is an interpersonal relationship in which a
person engages in an ongoing sexual
relationship with another person to whom he/she is not or cannot be
married to in the full extent of the local meaning of marriage. The
inability to marry may be due to multiple factors such as differences in
social rank status, an existing marriage, religious prohibitions,
professional ones (for example Roman soldiers) or a lack of recognition by
appropriate authorities. The woman in such a relationship is referred to
as a concubine.
Consummation is the first (or first officially credited) act
of sexual intercourse between two
people, either following their marriage to each other or after a prolonged
sexual attraction. The definition of consummation usually refers to
penile-vaginal sexual penetration, but some religious doctrines hold that
there is an additional requirement that there must not be any
Just because you find someone who shares the same interests does
not necessarily mean that they want to share these interests
with you. There's so much more to a relationship.
It usually takes about 6 months to one year before you can
actually know a person and understand them. And it's not just
knowing who that person is but also knowing who you are when
you're with that person. So in actuality you're
Discovering two people at once. Why do people Change?
Some People just don't have the same
Some People just don't have the same
Some People just don't have the same
Some People just don't have the same
Sense of Humor.
When people study the same subjects and
seek similar careers, they have a tendency to marry each other.
Percentage of Men who Marry women who Share Majors
Percentage of Women
Percentage of People
Everyone should have a
Relationship Contract that explains their idea of what a
perfect relationship should be. How much are you willing to
compromise on each others differences?
Our Relationship Contracts
Pre Relationship Agreement
How to Have a Healthy Relationship
Mutual Love Agreement
Ask a Love
Things Your Friends Say After A Break-Up (youtube)
Rejection occurs when an individual is deliberately excluded
from a social relationship or social interaction.
Tips (youtube, 1949)
the Doghouse- Hilarious! (youtube)
Feeling Boxed In
Every 13 seconds, someone in the United States files for
Finding the right person for you is an
incredible thing, but it's not impossible. But you still have to
understand that you will never know who the right person will
be, or will you ever know if the right person you have now is
actually the right person for you. So there's really no right
person, only the best person that you have found so far. And
don't waste your time thinking about the ' what if's ' or waste
your time with regrets. Even though it's fun to imagine all the
different scenarios that could have happened in your life, those
dreams will never be productive or healthy because it's
impossible to calculate what could have been when all the
factors involved could never be known. So it's just a dream, and
when it comes to dreams, you should choose your dreams wisely,
dreams that have a higher percentage of coming true, or dreams
that are not so centered around you.
Questions you might ask when you are trying to know someone on a personal level.
You really have to be good at
analyzing the answers to these questions. And the answers
may not be that accurate, because sometimes people don't know
the truth, or even know enough about the question to accurately
answer it. So the first answer may not be the same answer later
on, especially after the person had time to think about the
question a little more. These questions may help you to
understand a little about someone, but this is in no way a
judgment of that person, because only an open debate and
discussion could accurately understand our views and our
perceptions, which is totally related to what we know now, and
not related to what we will learn and know in the future.
Because the more we learn, the more we can understand ourselves
and the more we can understand other people, but that's only if
you learn the right things at the right time. Think of these
questions as a starting point of a conversation, don't think of
these questions as an
an assessment, or a judgment, or some sort of measurement.
Flaws and Effects
judge another, you do not define them,
you define yourself."
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want
as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you
are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either
the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your
life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised,
what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in
as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality
or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself,
your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to
14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long
time? Why haven't you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would
you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive
characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your
childhood was happier than most other people's?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are
both in this room feeling ... "
26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I
could share ... "
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your
partner, please share what would be important for him or her to
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest
this time, saying things that you might not say to someone
you've just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to
communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having
told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire.
After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely
make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find
most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on
how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect
back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you
Published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
Authors: Arthur Aron (SUNY Stony Brook), Edward Melinat
(California Graduate School of Family Psychology), Elaine N.
Aron (SUNY Stony Brook), Robert Darrin Vallone (University of
California, Santa Cruz), Renee J. Bator (Arizona State
Like Pina Coladas - Jimmy Bufett (youtube)
More Questions you May want to Ask
Choose the questions that you want to ask that you believe
are the most important to you
How would your friends describe you?
Tell me one thing you really like about yourself?
What is one thing you’d like to change about yourself?
how would you like people to remember you?
What’s your story?
are you working on something that really excites you?
What is a hidden talent of yours very few people know about?
What global issue do you wish you could solve?
What place have you always wanted to travel to?
have you read any good books lately?
What is your favorite movie?
Who inspires you? Who do you aspire to be like?
do you believe in something that very few others agree with?
What is one of your guilty pleasures?
What do you like to do outside of work?
If you could be a professional athlete, what sport would you
If you were given a time machine, what time period would you go
If you only had two weeks to live, what would you do?
If you were given $1 million but had to spend it in one day, how
would you spend it?
If you could put up a billboard, where would you put it, and
what would it say?
If a genie granted you three wishes, what would they be?
What is one skill you feel every person should have?
What is one goal you’d like to accomplish during your lifetime?
What is your mother’s maiden name?
What color are your eyes?
What is one place you desperately want to travel to?
What do they regret about your family life?
What foods can you absolutely not stand?
Do you shower in the morning or at night?
Have you ever voted?
What type of chocolate do you prefer?
Is there a certain nickname you absolutely hate to be called?
Where is your family from?
Is your family religious?
Do you want a cat or a dog?
Which friend have you known the longest?
What childhood memory do you always bring up?
Do they think of yourself as extroverted or introverted?
Do other people think of you as extroverted or introverted?
Do you want children?
What do you think of long term commitments, marriage, etc.?
Do you like foreplay?
Are you a light sleeper?
Do you like to cuddle while they sleep?
Which celebrity do you find most attractive?
How do you wind down at the end of a long day?
Do you drink every day?
Would you ever want to live abroad?
Do you still have their wisdom teeth?
What do you like on pizza?
Do you have severe allergies and what are they?
If they went to college, what did you study?
Do you believe in God?
What’s your favorite sex position?
In an ideal world, how many times a week would you want to have
What’s your least favorite part of their current job?
What are you currently reading?
Are you conscious about saving money?
What is your ideal date night?
Where were you born?
How do you take your coffee?
What is the one thing you could say to make them start arguing
What is your astrological sign?
What is your favorite season?
What amount of
PDA are you comfortable with?
What is your go-to drink order?
How old were you when they lost their virginity?
What are your porn preferences?
Are you confrontational?
How often do you use social media?
Do you have condiment/hot sauce preferences?
What makes you insanely impatient?
What is your go-to form of exercise?
What is your dream job?
What is your favorite meal?
Who is your closest friend currently?
What is the one thing that gets you off every time?
Do you like celebrating your birthday?
If today was your last day what would you do?
What do you worry about in the future?
What do you do?
What business are you in?
What do you like about your job?
How did you get started in this kind of work?
You can learn so much about someone if you hear even a bit about
their journey instead of
focusing exclusively on the here and now. And when people start
telling their story, things
can really get interesting.
What are your
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Which is worse, failing or never trying?
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like
and like so many things we don’t do?
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would
make you rich?
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what
you are doing?
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live
your life differently?
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.
They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing
she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and
unjustified. What do you do?
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice,
what would it be?
Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?
What’s holding you back?
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you
currently live in, where would you move and why?
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really
believe it makes the elevator faster?
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Why are you, you?
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch
with a good friend who lives right near you?
What are you most grateful for?
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able
to make new ones?
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely
upset? Does it really matter now?
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate
If not now, then when?
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away
feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the
soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow,
who would you visit today?
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years
to become extremely attractive or famous?
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just
go ahead and do what you know is right?
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to
make a mistake?
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly
expressed this love?
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?
What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
well do you know your partner? Take our quiz to find out
Talk nicely and listen compassionately with deep concern and
appreciation for the other person.
Do something nice for the other person. Actions sometimes speak
louder then words, and gifts are symbolic of love, affection and
appreciation. And don't just think about material gifts, there
are gifts that come from kind gestures, or gifts that come from
giving someone your full attention.
Showing Affection through physical touch also has many benefits,
a hug, a handshake, a gentle hand on the shoulder, or even a
"Everyone who's ever loved you was wrong."
"I don't care what people say about you. You're alright."
"Somewhere out there a tree is working very hard to replace the
oxygen you consume. Now go apologize to it."
Some of My Personal Experiences
Feeling Boxed In
I knew I had a lot of growing up to do, but I found it hard to
grow up when I was around women, and I also found it totally
impossible to grow up just hanging around with your buddies. But
I learned that the feeling I had like I was being boxed in was
of my own making. So I had to learn how to not build walls and
learn how to build bridges instead of burning bridges.
"Why does having a girlfriend give you a
false sense of security, and a
false sense of pride or
"Marriage or relationships, no matter how loving, can
still become a prison."
Selena Gomez - Same Old Love (youtube)
I know from my experiences
with women, that there were times when I enjoyed the sex more
then my girlfriends did. That was not intentional of course, it
was mostly from my lack of experience and the fact that I was an
idiot, and also that some
women did not take the time to show you how to please them, but
maybe they too didn't know how to explain it. Pleasing a women as much as she pleases me is all I ever wanted.
I want my girlfriend to enjoy sex as much as I do.
A women who has sex with you knowing that she will not enjoy
that sexual encounter, is either a very generous and loving
women, or a women who wants some kind of compensation for her
I see nothing wrong with either one as long as the relationship
is honest and not exploitive in any way. Women are like Gods to
me. Women are the giver of life, the guardians of our children,
the loving companionship of man.
If a women is not a gift from
God, she is certainly the most loved creation of all Gods
"Sex is usually better
in Love when compared to Sex without Love, and
at First Sight, is usually just temporary."
There were a lot
of times in my life where I have stopped dating because I
believed that the women I dated were killing me. But as time
went on I realized that there were a lot of other things in my
life that were killing me besides women. I made a lot of bad
choices, and women were not to blame. I was not well informed or
very knowledgeable. It took me a long time to learn this so I'm
lucky that I didn't stop learning and I'm glad that I didn't
give up, because I know, as I have always known, that somewhere
out there in the world, there's the right women for me. And I
don't feel that I waited to long or feel like I wasted time,
because it took as long as what was needed. It was more then
believing that "Good things come to those who wait" or, "Don't
rush into things", or "Be carful what you wish for", it was more
about "it is what it is", my fate, my destiny, my life, my love.
I can't say that I'm totally ready for the women of my dreams,
but I'm more ready now then I ever was. Plus I'm a lot more
mature, I'm more secure and definitely a lot more loving now
then I ever was.
One Night Stand: Where loneliness, hornyness and attraction
meets opportunity. It's not a well thought out plan."
Beautiful Stranger (youtube)
in The Night - Frank Sinatra (youtube)
Jerry - In the Summertime
It's important to grow and mature as individuals and as
a couple. Sometimes we grow apart. And sometimes we just figure out and
realize who we are and what kind of person we would like to have as a
partner. That is why being open and honest is important. But you have to
be sure how accurate your honesty is and if being open about yourself will
be understood the way you intend. We want people to change and we also
want people to stay the same in some ways. The things that we first love
about a person are the things we hope will never change. But you first
have to accurately define those key characteristics that we love about
someone, because what we think is them, might just be a smaller part of a
much bigger picture of who they are.
INXS - Don't Change
Can you have sex and enjoy it without having an emotional
connection with that person? Yes some people do it all the time, not to
say that it's for everyone, or that it's without risk, it's just saying
that it's not that unusual. -
I don't have any
regrets, what I have are lessons learned and some incredible
experiences. And the beauty of it is, I can share all my
experiences and knowledge and
it on. There is nothing more valuable then sharing what you
have learned, after all, my life benefited in many ways from
people in the past and present who also took the time and effort
to share their experiences and knowledge, a lot of which also
improved the life of millions. Not to say that we are there yet,
but at least now we can finally see a better future. And as we
get closer, the more defined our future will become. (12 / 9 / 2013)
The range of interest or activity that can be anticipated.
New Age (wiki)
Another reason for going solo many times in my life was at times
I didn't want people following me because I had no idea where I
was going. I also didn't want to keep any of my girls friends
from having the kind of life that they were hoping for. I also
didn't want to follow other people either, because that would
make it hard for me to figure out where I was personally going.
Even if we agreed to find out together, that would still mean
that we might eventually be headed in different directions any
way. I also did not want to influence anyone unless I was
positively sure, and I was wasn't sure of a lot of things. But
anyway, I'm not sure if it was the easy way or the only way, but
I am sure now, that it was the right way for me. And at 53 I'm
still searching, not for that perfect women, just a women who's
perfect for me, and I perfect for her.
/ 5 / 14)
Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal) (youtube)
Donnie Iris - Ah
I didn't plan to have kids, but
maybe if I found the right women I may have, so It just turned
out that way. I don't regret not having children or am I ever
saddened by it. I just hope that I can do enough things that
would make big differences in the world, something that would
benefit all children, and I'm already been working on that,
BK101. Would I ever get married? of course, but that women
would have to be incredibly intelligent and mentally and
physically strong. I'm not looking for my equal, I'm just
looking for a women who never stops learning, a women who loves
to ask the right questions, a women who's not afraid to make
mistakes, a women who's passionate about improving education, a
women who can look you in the eyes and say 'I'm with you till
"I always dream of having a wonderful relationship with a women, but I
know that dreams are always better then reality. So I have to
start learning how to create a wonderful relationship, instead
of just dreaming about having one."
I have as much to offer a women
as a women has to offer me, meaning, if you define all the
important qualities that you know are valuable, you'll find that
men and women will always share similar qualities. The problem
is we don't always share those similar qualities at the same
time, or in the same way Our freedom has made it possible for us
to be out of sync, but out of sync should not mean out of touch.
If we improve this imperfection in our thinking, we'll have a
lot more love in our relationships, and a lot more time to enjoy
life then ever before. Sync up and get in touch.
I was thinking about becoming a
Professional Fake Boy
Friend so I could help women stay
single while avoiding the pressures and constant nagging from
family and friends for them to get married and to start a
family. But now I'm too old.
that I can Still Fall in Love
I'm just glad that I'm still
Falling in Love after all these years. But of course these
days I'm only falling in love from a distance.
Getting close to a women is still complicated these days. But
there's a few different reasons for being single these days. And
one of the reasons is that I'm not even trying right now. But
that's just one of the reasons. The other reason is that I'm
waiting for my life to be a little bit more stable. But I know
that I shouldn't be waiting for things to be perfect in my life,
because things will never will be totally perfect in my life.
Besides, if the women I want can't handle the imperfections of
my life as they are now, then she would most likely never handle
the tough times.
In sickness or in health, good times or bad times, I don't
want a party pooper in my life. And I could also say that I have
higher priorities in my life right now. But one of the things
that I have been learning lately is that I should never over
look the benefits of having a women in my life. Because finding
the time to look for love, can also be saving time. But I don't
want to waste time with someone. I want to make time with
someone, someone special. I will know who my love is when I find
her. And I know that falling in love will lead me to her, but I
will never be able to reach her if the love that she has for me
is not the same love that I have for her. I'm not picky, I'm
just following my heart. And I know that my heart will lead me
to her, either in this life or the next. So I will never give
up. Time is not that all I have, I also have Love.
I miss the excitement of dating
someone new, even though the process from just
Dating to intimacy was sometimes awkward. The fear of
having a bad sexual experience made me a little nervous
sometimes, and a little
Self Conscious and paranoid, which makes it
difficult to have a good sexual experience under those
conditions. But when I look back, I'm glad that some
sexual experiences never happened, because if they were
good, they may have made me be with the wrong person.
Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for God to bring the
women of my dreams, but maybe God knows it's not the
right time. I wanted to be with someone, but the dating
process seemed unnatural. I'm not good at finding the
right women. I don't want to be with someone if I just
end up breaking up with her. I don't want to hurt
someone, because I know how painful it is to have
someone breaking up with you. I would rather have
someone break up with me then to have to break up with
Some people get lucky and
find the right person the first time they meet someone.
Others have multiple relationships before they find the
right person. What ever you do, don't let the
fear of being alone force you into a relationship
that's not right for you. Being single again after an
unfavorable relationship always feels awesome, almost as
awesome as finding a new girlfriend, almost.
My priorities have changed, a lot of things are on hold
"I want to
make a women feel good, I want her to feel special, I want a
women to feel loved and to feel beautiful, but if not, then
maybe we would be better off being just friends then lovers."
"We waste time looking for the perfect
lover, instead of creating the perfect love." (Tom Robbins)
Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's
seeing an imperfect person perfectly. (Sam Keen)
While you’re busy looking for the
perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect
person who could make you perfectly happy.
Don’t choose the one who is
beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your
According to a survey of adults aged 20 to
59, women have an average of 4 sex partners during their
lifetime; men have an average of 7.
- She's Always a Women to Me (youtube)
Amerie - 1
Halo - Gary Lightbody (youtube)
Don't Matter to Me (youtube)
Belinda Carlisle -
Mad About You
Cohen - Suzanne (youtube)
Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye
Barry White - Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Baby
The TOADIES Possum Kingdom - Make up your Mind (youtube)
'Pillowtalk (youtube) Love doesn't have to be a Battlefield.
Love Is A
Battlefield - Pat Benatar
Linda Maria Ronstadt
tells you how to let someone down easy and tell them that you're
it's not you, it's me.
You can't see the forest for the trees, meaning you can't
see the whole situation clearly because you're looking too
closely at small details, or, you can't fully understand the
forest just by looking at the trees.
Kids On: HOW TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE (S2, Episode 4) (youtube)
I remember when I had a girl friend when I was young, it made
some of my male friendships more complicated. Because now you have
something to do and that they can't share with you. I have done this to
friends, and I have also had friends do this to me. It sucks, but it
shouldn't. The way you handle new aspects of a relationship is to express
the awkwardness and separation anxiety before they get misunderstood.
There will be new rules, and some things will not be the same. Men are now
a little paranoid of what the new girl friend will think, so they will act
differently, while their friends will act the same way. You want a
girlfriend who will not change the relationships with your male friends,
but you also want a girlfriend who will voice her opinion, because she
could make you see something that you might not be aware of. You can't
treat your girl friend like one of the guys. But why would you treat
anyone differently? You don't want to say certain things to your
girlfriend, but why do you say certain things with your male friends? You
have to question whether these differences in behavior are healthy. To
have a good relationship is to have good teamwork, each person looking out
for the other. The more we learn about relationships, the easier they
become, and the more beneficial they will be.
"I'm not really single, I'm kind of in a
long distance relationship with my future girl friend. So she
technically doesn't exist yet, but I'm hoping to change that
Related Category Pages
Interpersonal intelligence (People Smart)
When Observations are Flawed
Reactions to Stress
Solitude is a Skill
I love you
Don't be Fake
Pure Be Good
Summer of Love
Marriage - Weddings
where two people are united in marriage.
and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic
groups, religions, countries, and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies
involve an exchange of marriage vows by the couple, presentation of a gift
(offering, ring(s), symbolic item, flowers, money), and a public
proclamation of marriage by an authority figure. Special wedding garments
are often worn, and the ceremony is sometimes followed by a
. Music, poetry, prayers or readings from religious
texts or literature are also commonly incorporated into the ceremony.
also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognized
union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and
obligations between them, between them and their children, and between
them and their in-laws, as well as society in general. The definition
of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally
an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually
, are acknowledged. In some
cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before
pursuing any sexual activity. When defined broadly, marriage is considered
a cultural universal.
is a legal framework in a limited number of jurisdictions
where a couple is legally considered married after 7 Years together,
without that couple having formally registered their relation as a civil
or religious marriage.
(informal marriage, marriage by habit and
repute, or marriage in fact)
is a commitment by someone to do or not do something. As a noun promise
means a declaration assuring that one will or will not do something. As a
verb it means to commit oneself by a promise to do or give. It can also
mean a capacity for good, similar to a value that is to be realized in the
are promises each partner in a couple makes to the
other during a wedding ceremony.
binding promise to do, give, or refrain from doing something. Bound by or
as if by an oath
solemnly and formally. Give as a guarantee.
Oaths of Service
promise to wed, and also the period of time between a marriage proposal
and a marriage. During this period, a couple is said to be betrothed
(Pledged), "intended", affianced, engaged to be married, or simply
Stories of Long MarriagesRelationships
is a payment by the groom or his family to the bride's
Ultimate Wedding Planner & Organizer Book (Ring-Bound)
Wedding Tips & Planning Information
Web Cast My Wedding
Bands & DJ's
Live VowsMusic Websites
I Do....and Now I Don't, So what do you do with that Wedding Ring
Make your own Wedding Ring
Green Wedding Ideas
Green WeddingGreen Products
Plant a Memory
There's over 4 million Weddings in America
every year, and an average of 4 million
"It's better to Thrive before Wive, and to
choose your Wife by the Ear than by your Eye."
Are you Ready for Marriage?
like eye-rolling, sarcasm and name-calling
is the number
one predictor of
Lack of respect accompanied by a feeling of intense dislike
the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration,
Simon "That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be" 1971
great song about thinking of marriage)
Lesley Gore "You
Don't Own Me" 1963 HD
Stripes-Hardest Button To Button
The Chapel Of Love- The Dixie Cups
Songs about Marriage
Life on drugs is not better,
drugs only makes life seem better. That's the same thing as saying being
married makes you live longer, being married only makes life seem longer.
Our awareness is a beautiful thing, but only if we pay attention to our
awareness, and only if we actually understand our
enough. Like any skill or any ability, it's a learned experience from
having access to the correct knowledge and information.