Humor - Why are some things Funny?
Why do we Laugh?
is a message whose ingenuity or
verbal skill or incongruity
has the power to evoke
The trait of appreciating (and being able to express)
A humorous anecdote or remark intended to provoke
Act in a funny or teasing way.
The quality of being funny.
Put into a good mood.
is the tendency of particular cognitive
experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement. The term derives
from the humoral medicine of the ancient Greeks, which taught that the
balance of fluids in the human body, known as humours (Latin: humor, "body
fluid"), controlled human health and emotion.
Theories of Humor
is to figure out what humor is, what social functions it serves, and what
would be considered humorous.
Differentiating what is Humorous from what is Not Humorous
is a physical reaction in humans and some other
species of primate, consisting typically of rhythmical, often audible
contractions of the diaphragm and other parts of the respiratory system.
It is a response to certain external or internal stimuli. Laughter can
arise from such activities as being tickled, or from humorous stories or
thoughts. Most commonly, it is considered a visual expression of a number
of positive emotional states, such as joy, mirth, happiness, relief, etc.
On some occasions, however, it may be caused by contrary emotional states
such as embarrassment, apology, or confusion such as nervous laughter or
courtesy laugh. Age, gender, education, language, and culture are all
factors as to whether a person will experience laughter in a given
"When you laugh, you're not
afraid, and when you're not afraid, you're free".Laughter
Why do we Laugh?
Sophie Scott: Why we Laugh
Laughter: A Scientific Investigation
Skype Laughter Chain
Tanganyika Laughter Epidemic
Laughing for no Reason?
Bag (Laugh Box) High Pitch Laughing sound track gag Toy
Inherently Funny Word
is a word which can be found amusing without any given
context, for reasons ranging from onomatopoeia to phonosemantics. Such
words have been used by a range of influential comedians to enhance the
humor of their routines.
Funny Movies and TV
Humor is a creative way of
expressing information and sometimes a complex form of
information, which makes certain humor hard to understand. This
is why humor is a form of
intelligence because you need to have retained a bit of relevant
information in order to understand
the joke. So humor can be a creative way of testing a persons
knowledge of past events.
But humor does not come
because interpretations are not
the same for every person.
Some people could be offended while other people will find humor
funny and not offensive, and some will even find it funny and
disturbing at the same time. There is sometimes
truth in humor
though humor is not the most correct or accurate method for
communicating truth, which is another risk of using humor as a
way to communicate information.
Most people will say that they laugh because it’s funny. Then what is
? Babies don’t know what’s funny, yet we see
babies cry and all babies laugh. So laughter is something that we are
born with. Why? And why does laughter and sadness become more complex as we get older?
There is an intelligent concept when it comes to making people
laugh. Not so much to induce laughter, but to communicate a point of view that is funny to some and real to others.
It's important to know why a person gets a joke or why a
person laughs at a particular thing.
But it's also very important to know why a person did not get
the joke or laugh at the same thing as you did.
You're 30 times more likely to laugh if you're with somebody else than if you're alone.
Humor and Laughter Has Benefits
A good laugh can enhance creativity, elevate collegiality,
and improve long term job performance. Fun meetings,
apparently, can be
. The benefits of humor as an individual
coping mechanism and a social lubricant are well
established. Humor helps people cope with pain and tragedy,
reduces social conflict and promotes group cohesion. Using a
to understand temporal sequences in
Lehmann-Willenbrock and Allen
found that within the
meetings, humor patterns triggered problem-solving behaviors
(e.g., what do you think about this approach?), procedural
suggestions (e.g., let's talk about our next step), and goal
orientation (e.g., we should target this issue). Humor
patterns also promoted supportive behaviors like
and encouragement, and led to new ideas and
Ron Gutman: The Hidden Power of Smiling
is a facial expression formed primarily by
flexing the muscles at the sides of the mouth. Some smiles include a
contraction of the muscles at the corner of the eyes, an action known as a
"Duchenne smile". Smiles performed without the eye contraction can be
perceived as "fake
Humor ability reveals
intelligence, predicts mating success
Humor has a Placebo EffectLaughter is
Punchlines For Progress
humor to change perceptions and change people's minds,
making them more aware"
"People who can laugh at themselves are
usually the happiest people, and also the most intelligent."
Did you know that people around the world can tell whether
folks are friends or strangers by listening to them laughing
A comedian who examines the world for other
. One who makes
from a different
point of view
Someone who expresses
Someone who compares things to other things during an
A comedian does not always express their observations to be
more accurate or truthful, it's more about inducing laughter
and confirming that what they see is similar to what the
sees, and the
is laughter. But even though laughter might
be the motive of a comedian, you cannot deny the fact that
this method of analyzing our world is
. But it's not always
Sense of Humor:
of appreciating and being able to express humor. having a sense of humaor
can help reduce stress, help you cope with pain, create empathy in social
situations, and can even improve relationships, but not always because you
can go to far sometimes.
refers to any discourse or work generally
intended to be humorous or to amuse by inducing laughter, especially in
theatre, television, film and stand-up comedy. Stand-up Comedy
is a comic style in which a comedian performs in front of a live audience,
usually speaking directly to them.
comprises a series of short comedy scenes
or vignettes, called "sketches", commonly between one and ten minutes
is a person who seeks to entertain an
audience, primarily by making them laugh.
are comic performers who employ slapstick or similar
types of physical comedy, often in a mime style.
an entertainer during the medieval and Renaissance
eras who was a member of the household of a nobleman employed to entertain
him and his guests.
is a theatrical genre of variety
entertainment made up of a series of separate, unrelated acts grouped
together on a common bill.
is a Joke
is a display of humour in which words are used
within a specific and well-defined narrative structure to make people
laugh. It takes the form of a story, usually with dialogue, and ends in a
punch line. It is in the punch line that the audience becomes aware that
the story contains a second, conflicting meaning. This can be done using a
pun or other word play such as irony, a logical incompatibility, nonsense
or other means. A joke is a short humorous piece of oral literature in
which the funniness culminates in the final sentence, called the punchline…
In fact, the main condition is that the tension should reach its highest
level at the very end. No continuation relieving the tension should be
added. As for its being "oral," it is true that jokes may appear printed,
but when further transferred, there is no obligation to reproduce the text
verbatim, as in the case of poetry
How to tell a Joke
Tell a Joke
Senior Citizen Jokes
form of intelligent humour, the ability to say or write things that are
clever and usually funny. A wit is a person skilled at making clever and
funny remarks. Forms of wit include the quip and repartee.
American Comic Book
My first favorite comedian was
I saw his movie at the
Palace Theater in Danbury
in the 70’s.
The movie was Richard Pryor performing live on stage. I never
laughed so hard in my life. Then there were
The Comedians from
. This one show has produced some of the
world’s greatest comedians, and is still doing so today. I
couldn’t even imagine what the world would have been like
without Saturday Night Live and the comedians they gave birth to..
Movies and TV Shows
Humor as a Weapon
I have always enjoyed comedy and humor. Joking around is pretty
much part of who I am.
Though humor and laughter is incredibly therapeutic, humor can
also be insensitive and make light of our greatest flaws and
problems. That was the one of the reasons that kept me from pursuing a
career in comedy.
on one level, but not necessarily the same level for
is "a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or
remark; a bitter gibe or taunt." Sarcasm may employ ambivalence, although
sarcasm is not necessarily ironic. "The distinctive quality of sarcasm is
present in the spoken word and manifested chiefly by vocal inflections".
The sarcastic content of a statement will be dependent upon the context in
which it appears.
is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in
which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule,
ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations, government
or society itself, into improvement.
is a state of having simultaneous
conflicting reactions, beliefs, or feelings towards some object.
is a form of intelligent humour, the ability
to say or write things that are clever and usually funny. A wit is a
person skilled at making clever and funny remarks. Forms of wit include
the quip and repartee.
in use, is a work created to imitate, make
fun of, or comment on an original work, its subject, author, style, or
some other target, by means of satiric or ironic imitation.
is a specific genre of comedy that derives
humor from social awkwardness. Often a cringe comedy will have an air of a
mockumentary and revolve around a serious setting, such as a workplace, to
lend the comedy a sense of reality
is a genre of comedy centered on
characters who share a common environment, such as a home or workplace,
with often-humorous dialogue. Sitcoms originated in radio, but today are
found mostly on television as one of its dominant narrative forms. This
form can also include mockumentaries.
is a comic work that makes light of
serious, disturbing, and / or taboo subject matter.
Black Comedy Film
is humor about very unpleasant, serious, or
painful circumstances. Any humor that treats serious matters, such as
death, war, disease, and crime, in a light, silly or satirical fashion is
considered gallows humor.Media
Exposing human folly to ridicule. of satire: using wit,
especially irony, sarcasm, and ridicule, to criticize
faults. Subject to laughter or ridicule. Language or behavior
intended to mock or humiliate. The act of deriding or
treating with contempt.
Supposed to be funny: intended to be humorous but often
silly or inappropriate. Cleverly amusing in tone.
Humor or frivolity, especially the treatment of a serious
matter with humor or in a manner lacking due respect.
Laugh at with
Lack of respect accompanied by a feeling of intense dislike.
want to make people laugh but I also want to educate people.
And being a comedian is sometimes a contradiction to being an effective
educator. But learning can be fun, so using some
to give a lesson would make it more
interesting, besides we already make
so why not.
But if you become a comedian, you will have a hard
time getting people to take you serious, it will be hard to know
where the joke ends and the lesson begins. So I chose education instead of
a career in comedy. This is not to say that I don't respect or appreciate
comedy or comedians or entertainers. I
have always admired their talents and their commitment to their
craft. Besides, laughter is incredibly important part of being
human and should always be an important part of being human.
Besides that, maybe I can become a comedian near the end of my
life? Because being taken seriously is always a struggle when
you're a Senior
so why not have some fun.
"There's not a lot of
thinking going on in those moments, it's like I'm in stupid
mode, saying what ever comes to mind."
Yes there can be truth in humor, but
not all humor is truthful. And humor is not the only form of
communication that uses
. So you still have to have follow up
questions in order to understand a statements true meaning.
A woman once told me that there is always a little truth in
humor. Yes there is, but truth is not the always the intention of the joke
for if it were a lot of jokes wouldn’t be funny. Though a joke may be used
to expose the truth we should never judge the method of delivery,
especially when other methods have failed. But there is definitely danger
in joking about serious subjects. Dirty jokes have always got people in
trouble because they choose the wrong time and the wrong place for their
joke. But at the same time people like Howard Stern have made a living
using perverted humor and dirty jokes. It seems that we don’t want
perverted humor and dirty jokes to go away. We just want more
responsibility and compassion without infringing on free speech. So can
this type of humor be responsible and compassionate and still be funny?
That has always been a challenge for comedians and writers. They have
always found the right way and they have always the wrong way. Both ways
are funny, but are both ways necessary? Another thing I noticed is that
perverted humor is more funny to males that it is to females. I will watch
something and laugh my ass off but when I watch that same funny clip with
a girl friend, for some reason, that same humorous clip is not funny
anymore. Why? Is it that I'm more aware of how funny it really is or is it
just more funny to guys. Is certain humor gender-based? Maybe it's a good
thing that women don't laugh at all our stupid humor.
That's Not Funny (2014) - full feature documentary
"Some people you just can't joke around with, either they
don't get the joke or they misunderstand the joke. So avoiding jokes and
sarcasm with certain people is a good idea."
How to Stop Taking Jokes Seriously
How to Take a Joke
The joke is, there is no joke. We laugh at bad jokes because we're
stupid. We make fun of each other because we're stupid. If I
wanted to truly make someone feel better, I would find out
what would make them feel better, and then do that. There
are many different ways to make a person laugh and be happy, so to me, being a
truly gifted comedian is also being excellent communicator,
which I never was, because many of my jokes failed, not
because my jokes were horrible, it was because I was
ignorant, because the schools I went to were inadequate, as they
still are today. Freedom of speech can never live up to it's
full potential if you never fully educate people to fully
understand what speech is. So this is a language problem,
and an education problem. Something doesn't have to be a
joke in order for it to be offensive, because anything can
be offensive to anyone. So this is a language problem, a
communication problem, and an education problem. Being
offended because someone else is offended by what you said,
is offensive. We laugh at our flaws, not to make light of
them, but to overcome them. But if all we do is just joke
about our flaws, we will never overcome our flaws. We have
to learn how to overcome our flaws, we just can't laugh them
away. There's nothing wrong with you because you don't get
the joke. But at the same time, there's also nothing right
with you just because you did get the joke. Just because you
think something is funny, doesn't make you a better person
then someone else who thinks that same thing isn't funny.
Freedom of speech is nothing if you never fully understand
what speech is. So this is a language problem, a
communication problem, and an education problem, this is not
a joke problem. Say what you will, but if someone cannot
understand you, then you have to take the time to explain to
them, don't expect people to figure things for themselves.
Since you opened your mouth, you have to take responsibility
for your words, no matter how you thought your words were
supposed to be understood. If you want to twist words, then
you should learn how to untwist words so they're understood.
If you want to be ignorant, then expect ignorant reactions.
Freedoms will always be abused and misused, especially when
people are never fully educated enough in order to
understand how to use freedoms effectively, efficiently, or
accurately. This is a language problem, a communication
problem, and an education problem, this is not a joke
Being intelligent means you will still get to laugh, but you
will now consider the time, the place and the reasons more
carefully before making a joke. We still want people to make
horrible jokes, we just want our jokes at the right time and
in the right place. But we still have this problem of people
repeating horrible jokes when they're not supposed to. Hey!
I didn't say it, that person said it. That always sounds really
stupid, doesn't it? The words came out of your mouth but you
blame someone else for the words.
Jon Stewart admitted that his show did not stop political
corruption and crime from increasing. Or did It stop the
scumbags in the media from lying and misleading the public.
All it did is remind us of just how f*cked up people are in
politics and in the media.
Even his jokes about corporate crimes did nothing,
especially when he was taking advertising dollars from the
same scumbags he made jokes about, hypocrite yes, but at
least he used some of that money to fight the abuses and
make us aware of criminals. But just making jokes about how
f*cked up people are does not stop them from being f*cked
up. I still watched the show anyway because it was one of
the few shows on TV that were entertaining enough to watch.
And it was still important to inform people about how f*cked
up things are, but it didn't show us the ways to correct
these flaws, it just made us aware of these flaws.
into an art form, he was the king of
insults. And he played that part extremely well. He would
say things that were so rude and embarrassing that you just had
to laugh, because you knew he was kidding, he was hilarious.
He had that face and the personality with an uncanny ability
seem funny, so most people found it
you just love him for it, mostly because he was fulfilling a
type of fantasy for us, that fantasy that we all have of
being able to say anything that we want, things that we
would like to say, but we know we can't say. So for most
people, it's a lot safer to imagine being a rude person,
then it is to actually be a rude person. So in a way he's providing a type of service,
which shows you what you would look like if you were a jerk,
and at the same time, he's letting people know that laughing
at ourselves is good for us, and that we should never let
anyone get under our skin just because they have insulted
us, or perceive to be insulting to us. And that's the key,
he's not being honest, he's just making people laugh. He had
a special talent of making his misery make you feel happy
and feel better about yourself. That's how incredible he
was. He had a lot of material too, but he also had a
spontaneous wit that was sharp as a knife. So he was not
just reliant on his memory, he was also very adaptable to
particular moments. And that takes a lot of practice. But once a
comedian fills a particular
and perfects it, they can pretty much ride that
wave for ever. And he did. Don provided a great service
by making people laugh. And it's kind of funny to know a
person who actually made a
living being a jerk, it's totally amazing, and Don was totally respected
and loved for it too, and not just because he was a comedian,
but you also knew deep down inside that Don was a nice
person, he only played a part for us, how cool is that,
humans are amazing.
Mr. Warmth the Don Rickels Project 2008
An Emmy winning docu-comedy about the famous stand-up
comedian Don Rickles with interviews from Robin Williams,
Chris Rock, Sara Silverman, Clint Eastwood, and more.
Aired: 02/19/2008 | Not Rated | 1 hr. 30 min.
It's not about enjoying the suffering of others, it's about
us laughing at the accidents that happen to us that don't
hurt us, and that is why they are funny, because we can
survive misfortune. But as soon as an accident causes injury
or death, then they are not funny anymore. If someone went
blind from a
Pie in the Face
, it would not be funny.
saw a TV show without a
would it still be funny?
is Pre Recorded Laughter
National Lampoon's Animal House
I'm No Dummy
Cheech and Chong
Funny TV Shows
List of Situation Comedies
List of Comedies
Watch Saturday Night Live on Hulu
Funniest TV Shows
Why is it funny to see people Fail?
Fail 2010 Compilation Video
A Funny Stuff
Other TV Shows
Hidden Camera Humor
A fun way to examine human behavior
Hidden Camera Scare Pranks
More Hidden Camera Pranks
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
Social Behavior Experiments
Security Camera Effects
I have recently watched
and realized that
can be a great teaching tool that can
teach us about human behavior. When I was a kid I loved
, which was just one of the many
Hidden Camera Television Series
. They gave rise to other
series such as
The Jamie Kennedy Experiment
What Would You Do
? We can easily use all these videos to
teach people about what they would do if faced with these
Scary Prank Video's Funny and Dangerous?
Remember this one..What's Wrong With This Picture?
List of Practical Joke Topics (wiki)
Taking Fake Book Covers on the Subway (youtube)
"Where the ordinary can become
extraordinary in an instant, where normal life can be
interrupted by surprise, and where for a moment, if we are
paying attention, we can be lifted out of the repetition of
routines into a creative act that can be hidden in every
moment." (Quote from Bad Grandpa .5)
Bloopers Compilation (youtube)
News Bloopers 2015 (youtube)
Greatest Movie Bloopers and Outtakes
Music and Comedy
Worlds Funniest Songs. Comical or Nonsensical Songs. The
Combination of Music and Laughter.
Novelty Song (wiki)
List of Novelty Songs (wiki)
Best Comedy Albums of all time
I use to Love the Funny Papers Section in the Sunday News
List of Newspaper Comic Strips
Comic Strip (wiki)
The Funnies (wiki)
Famous Cartoon Characters
Some of my favorite comic strips, I had
these taped to my refrigerator for over 15
Warning some content is rated "R" — Restricted..
Some humor is R-Rated and X-Rated.
Children Under 17 Require Accompanying Parent or Adult Guardian
who has a really good sense of humor..
How can perverted humor, profanity and dirty jokes be so
insulting and funny at the same time?
This goes way beyond comprehension and mood. It’s more about
personal beliefs and personal experience. There are just some things that you shouldn’t make fun of. Is
that why comedians are so attracted to this type of taboo? Is
there humor in shocking people? Why do I seem to remember more
dirty jokes then the non-dirty jokes? Is being able to laugh at
a dirty joke a sign of intelligence or a sign of ignorance?
When you spend as much time on the internet as I do you are
bound to come across some really funny stuff. So since I'm
organizing the internet in other categories I figured this
category has been long overdue. We all need laughter in our
lives and we also need to laugh at ourselves once in a
So this category is where I will collect all the really funny
stuff that I can find, or more accurately, what I think is
funny. Because funny is hardly universal. That is one of the
flaws of comedy because comedy is mostly dependent on
comprehension and mood, which we know is sometimes different
from person to person.
The Definitive Winnebago Man, A lot of swearing (youtube)
Sexual Innuendos On The News (youtube)
Louis Chewed Up (hulu)
Jefferies - Fully Functional (youtube)
New Axe Commercial - Wash Your Balls
The Weinerlogues with Jane Lynch from
Mr. Bunting - SNL "I sing my song for all to hear"
100 of the Greatest Movie Insults of all time
I never realized just how much this phrase has been Uttered in
movies...You Look Like Sh*t (video)
"Fuck" from Every Tarantino Film This list encompasses
all “fuck” as part of dialogue in all films WRITTEN by
Tarantino. (youtube 26:37 Published on Dec 21, 2015)
Why are Farts Funny?
Why are Flatulence
more funny to men then women?
20 Classic Movie Farts
What's a Fart made of and what's in a Fart?
Fart Types and Meanings
One-second duration, nice resonant reverberation, and
pungent odor cloud with a nearly instantaneous 5-foot
radius. Your standard, everyday, friendly fart.
Sounds loud and butch, e.g., 'BRAAAMMPPP!' Smells like a
cross between a decaying meadow muffin on a hot day and a
Smells very much like rotten eggs (or hydrogen sulfide). A
powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often
rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster
'BRAAAP!' Sounds something like a Beefy One, except much
more sudden and much more powerful. May smell either eggy or
beefy. Leaves your asshole smarting. You really feel these
Sends seismic ripples to the next town. Rips the seams in
the crotch of your pants. This fart genuinely hurts, and you
can still feel it 20 minutes later. Anyone sitting nearby
may experience hearing loss.
Sputters to a start, but then keeps putt-putting along
spewing out an endless cloud of dirty, noxious fumes.
Surprise! You didn't even know that it was there, but
suddenly . . . 'BRRMP!' Yellow surprise
Sounds just like a gunshot. Unbelievably loud indoors. Hard
to believe that this emanates from between your buttocks.
Bullet explodes into billions of virulent odor molecules.
Gunshot farts are relatively rare but, like guns, very
You can't make an omelet without breaking wind, a B. Kliban
Puny and unsatisfying. Sounds a bit like a muffled 'Wheeeek,'
but smells foul.
Worrier: The kind that seems to be a fart
right up to the point at which you release it. At this
stage, matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for
comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underpants at
the first possible opportunity.
It feels like it's going to be a large beefy one, but out
comes a tiny little squeaker fart plus the head of something
massive. You tense your buttocks fast, lest you give birth
to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.
The type of fart that seems harmless, but then brings a
small poop as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the
toilet and give thanks you weren't in a business meeting or
job interview when it happened. If you were, you're screwed.
Bubbly! Sometimes messy too.
SBD (Silent But Deadly):
Totally inaudible but somehow causes all the occupants in a
room to collapse. Smell is undefined because nasal
investigators haven't had time to analyze the odor before
passing out. (This one is also known as SBL: Silent But
Lethal and Toxic Assassin.) Dangerous Gases sign!
GNL (Gambled 'n' Lost):
You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay
where you are, but tragically come to realize that this is
much more than a fart... Next big gamble: do you put your
underpants in the laundry basket and hope your wife won't
notice, do you wash 'em out yourself, or do you throw 'em
The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants and
gives you a cold wet sticky sensation when you walk. Try to
avoid this one if you're wearing white trousers.
Not Now Please!
You feel the presence of a mighty fart but are unable to
release it due to your situation (first date, new customer,
important business meeting, etc.). You clench your buttocks
together so hard you nearly have a stroke, and wait for the
pressure to subside. Success depends upon a number of
factors, but in the end you're probably going to have to
face the music (literally). Or you can try the stealth
You let it out as silently as possible and nobody hears it.
You discreetly take deep sniffs and smell nothing. You think
you got away with it. But 30 seconds later, as if released
from a stasis field, everybody starts to cough and splutter.
You point to the person next to you and try to look
The first fart of the morning. All that broccoli, beans, and
beer you had for dinner last night has decayed and fermented
into about 1,000 ml of noxious gas just dying to escape from
your rectum. Whether you let go under the covers when you
first wake up or hold it until you're taking your early
morning pee, releasing that first fart of the day feels oh,
so good and sets the tone for the whole day.
Sound like they have some juice in them.
A fart you make in bed -- any kind at all -- followed up by
holding your partner's head under the bedclothes so that
he/she can get the full effect of it. Good for moving a
stalled divorce process along. Very bad early in your
Saturday Night Live -
"High as F@%k" Music Video - Jon Lajoie
Pointless Profanity (2)
This is so gross and wrong on so many
levels, but what makes it funny is that Jon Lajoie made
a song from it.
2 Girls 1 Cup Song - Jon Lajoie (These 2 girls would win any gross out contest, which is
pretty tame compared to.)
Fear Factor, Jackass
Jackass 2 Best
I really enjoy other
Parodies too like from
Weird Al Yankovic
and others on
Can making fun of our reactions to
our own ignorance make our ignorance easier to understand? Can
making fun of our beliefs make them easier to understand? Can
there be truth in humor? Though I admire
South Park for using
Freedom of Speech,
I'm still sometimes disturbed by seeing humor as a way to bring
light to our social problems. It's sick humor but some how it's
kind of funny. Can humor be a teaching method? Yes I believe
that humor can be a teaching method, and a very funny method as
well...well of course not always...nothing is forever, not even
a Good Joke.
I sometimes have this feeling that
there are some people out there who are having a good laugh at
my expense, well let me tell you something, if I were there I
would be laughing right along side of you, cause there's no
doubt that I'm one really funny character, where does it come
from? A good
Sense of Humor
is truly a beautiful gift.
Not to say that everything is funny of course, after all I'm not
Little Nancy was in the garden
filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he
politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up,
"and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was very concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for
a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That's
because he's inside your fucking cat."
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask
A guy is driving down the street. A cop pulls him over and says,
"Sir, were you aware that your wife fell out of the car about a
mile back?" The guy says, "Oh, thank God! I thought I went
What has 75 balls and screws old ladies? Bingo!
Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses? Italians
hate ALL witnesses.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal
thermometer? The taste.
What's the difference between a
G-Spot and a Golf ball? A man will spend 20 minutes looking for
a Golf ball.
A blonde and a brunette were walking past a flower shop when the
brunette happened to notice her boyfriend buying flowers.
"Oh no, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again for no
particular reason," sighed the brunette.
The blonde looked at her friend oddly and said, "What's the big
deal? Don't you like getting flowers?"
"Oh, sure I do, but I really don't feel like spending the next
three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde thought for a moment and then asked, "Don't you have
Jokes for the Elderly
(for those who take life too seriously)
a.. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
b.. A day without sunshine is like, night.
c.. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
d.. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
e.. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
f.. 99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name.
g.. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
h.. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
i.. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
j.. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
k.. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
l.. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets
m.. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
n.. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
o.. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
p.. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
q.. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
r.. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
s.. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
t.. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
u.. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
v.. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
w.. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
x.. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong
y.. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
z.. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have
aa..If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her
ab..Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet
ac..What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
ad..And your final Zen thought for the day..... Why do psychics
have to ask you for your name?
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks,
was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher
asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My
sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is!
I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher
explained to the principal what the situation was. The
principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test.
If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go
back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
And so it went with every question the principal thought
a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I
think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I
have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do
The principal wondered why would she ask such a
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he
could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman
does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in
'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the
teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last
six questions wrong... "
100 Clean Jokes
The 100 Jokes That Shaped Modern Comedy
I've learned-that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they
panic and give in.
I've learned-that no matter how much I care, some people are
I've learned-that it takes years to build up trust, and only
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned-that it's not what you have in your life but how
much you have in your bank accounts.
I've learned-that you can get by on charm for about fifteen
minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.
I've learned-that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -
they are more fucked up than you think.
I've learned-you should always leave loved ones with loving
words. You may need to borrow money.
I've learned-that you can keep puking long after you think
I've learned-that we are responsible for what we do, unless we
I've learned-that either you control your attitude or you will
be offered medication.
I've learned-that money is a great substitute for character.
I've learned-that no matter how badly your heart is broken
therapy is still expensive.
I've learned-that overzealous customs agents can change your
life in a matter of hours.
I've learned-that the people you care most about in life are
taken from you too soon.
And all the less important ones just
never go away.
I've learned-To say "Fuck them if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.
There’s nothing more liberating then saying those three words to someone who deserves
it…Go Fuck Yourself !
Why Profanity and
Foul Mouth Language is
ineffective when communicating.